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Today’s society provides people with various ways to lose weight, such as special diets or exercise regimes. Many people believe though that poor food and today’s lifestyle should be addressed first. What is your opinion?

Today’s society provides people with various ways to lose weight, such as special diets or exercise regimes. Many people believe though that poor food and today’s lifestyle should be addressed first. What is your opinion? G62x
In modern day western society one can easily become obese, as the availability of cheap and unhealthy food is high. Nonetheless, many people desire to be healthy and slim and therefore have chosen to follow special diets or exercise regimes so as to not become obese. Others believe, however, that people should be better informed about today’s unhealthy lifestyles and the poor food they are consuming before such diets and regimes are taken into consideration. Personally, I agree that the unhealthy lifestyle of many people must be addressed before thinking about ways of losing weight through special diets. It has become habitual for people to cook using ingredients that have been pre-cooked or to which chemicals have been added. Additionally, several people consume a lot of microwave and fast food, which are both easy to purchase and prepare, but are often fairly unhealthy. Due to the fact that it has become less popular to cook meals using fresh ingredients, people consume chemicals, taste intensifiers, salt and sugar without realising. By consuming food that has been made by mass production, one no longer has to think largely about how a meal is prepared and can simply consume it without thinking about the ingredients. It seems logical that in order to lose weight effectively and over a long period of time, one has to learn to eat in a healthy way and to carry out sport on a regular basis. Learning how to cook with fresh ingredients is an important aspect of eating in a healthy way, and, by doing so, people can avoid eating food that has been pre-made. If people do not understand this concept, they will fall back into unhealthily habits after their diet is over. In conclusion, today’s unhealthy lifestyles as well as the poor quality food consumed by people on a regular basis must be addressed before thinking about diets or exercise regimes. If people can combine exercise with wholesome eating habits, they will be happier and healthier.
In modern day western society one can
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
obese, as the availability of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is high. Nonetheless,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
desire to be healthy and slim and
therefore
have chosen to follow special diets or exercise regimes
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
obese. Others believe,
however
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be better informed about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
lifestyles and the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
they are consuming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
such diets and regimes
are taken
into consideration.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
lifestyle of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be addressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
thinking about ways of losing weight through special diets.

It has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
habitual for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to cook using ingredients that have been
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-cooked
or to which chemicals have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
.
Additionally
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consume
Possible agreement error. The noun microwave seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of microwaves".
a lot of microwave
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, which are both easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and prepare,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
fairly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
. Due to the fact that it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
less popular to cook meals using fresh ingredients,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consume chemicals, taste intensifiers, salt and sugar without
Possible spelling mistake. 'realising' is British English.
realising
. By consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that has
been made
by mass production, one no longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
largely
about how a meal
is prepared
and can
simply
consume it without thinking about the ingredients.

It seems logical that in order to lose weight
effectively
and over a long period of time, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
learn to eat
Consider replacing "in a healthy way" with the adverb for "healthy"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a healthy way
and to carry out sport on a regular basis. Learning how to cook with fresh ingredients is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of eating
Consider replacing "in a healthy way" with the adverb for "healthy"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a healthy way
, and, by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can avoid eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that has been
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-made
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not understand this concept, they will fall back into
unhealthily
habits after their diet is over.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
lifestyles
as well
as the poor quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on a regular basis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be addressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
thinking about diets or exercise regimes. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can combine exercise with wholesome eating habits, they will be happier and healthier.
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IELTS essay Today’s society provides people with various ways to lose weight, such as special diets or exercise regimes. Many people believe though that poor food and today’s lifestyle should be addressed first. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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