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Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree

It is true that today peoples' expectancy of life is increase. So some people do job after current retirement age. I am partially agreed with the statement. This essay will discuss both views in the following paragraphs. Firstly it is beneficial for country's economic if senior citizens work for long time governments burden for older people will decrease so governments have to spend less on other people's health care and travel expenses it is the best solution for developing Nations because they do not have to pay them till their life if older people will get a busy on their work so that do not feel lonely less and depression because today every family has not much time to spend with old people senior people have a lot of experience so that involve them in company or get advice from that become very prime decision for us moreover it is very essential for old people to work till later age they do not have to depend on other person for their food and shelter. However, not all jobs are fit for older people, Some jobs need physical fitness for work. After certain age they might get health problems such as eyesight, spinal cord and knee problems. So they do not get job while others believe that their hard work so many years so after certain years they want to rest in peace. In conclusion, if older people are fit and they become financially independent they should work after retirement age because they need money for their daily expenses neither Government have to give money them.
It is true that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
peoples' expectancy of life is increase.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. I am
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
with the statement. This essay will discuss both views in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
it is beneficial for country's economic if senior citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for long time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
burden for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
Use a comma before ‘so’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
decrease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend less on other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health care and travel expenses it is the best solution for developing Nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay them till their life if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a busy on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that do not feel lonely less and depression
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
every family has not much time to spend with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that involve them in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advice from that become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
prime decision for us
moreover
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
till later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
depend on other person for their food and shelter.
However
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are fit
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
need physical fitness for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. After certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
health problems such as eyesight, spinal cord and knee problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
while others believe that their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
after certain years they want to rest in peace.
In conclusion
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fit and
they become
financially
independent they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need money for their daily expenses neither
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give money them.
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IELTS essay Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in the workforce.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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