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Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in the workforces. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in the workforces. Y9jr
In this modern era, maintaining health has become more popular, which is a reason for the increment in the life expectancy of people. Also, some people agreed that more jobs should be given to older people in companies due to their good health. This essay will discuss why people think that way and why I disagree with them, all the explanation is given in the following paragraphs. First and foremost, nowadays, many possible ways are available for people, which improves the physical bodies of humans such as yoga, gyms, diets, and many more. If people tend to start to follow all methods for becoming more fit, they will work hard than unfit people do. For example, one research has shown that doing regular exercises will improve physical and mental health. Therefore, some people believe that old-aged people should continue to be hired by companies. Overall, it is good to maintain health for humans, which will increase a life span in long run. On the other hand, it is not a good idea that if a person physically strong would be perfect for a job. Although it will beneficial for companies due to their experiences but not for younger people. Because younger people have abilities to work with new technology with minimal effort and less hard work. For instance, as per a result of the survey in the USA, over 70% of companies agreed that the younger one done the task in a small amount of time rather than the older people. Indeed, these types of evidence prove that having good health, which is good for humans’ perspective but, would be not a possible reason to hire older people in organizations. In conclusion, following various methods, which will help in health because it may create an impact on our life expectancy. In my words, I strongly disagree with the given statement. Providing more jobs to younger people will no doubt brings many positive outcomes in workplaces.
In this modern era, maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
has become more popular, which is a reason for the increment in the life expectancy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that more jobs should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
due to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. This essay will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that way and why I disagree with them, all the explanation is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the following paragraphs.

First
and foremost, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
possible ways are available for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the physical bodies of humans such as yoga, gyms, diets, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to follow all methods for becoming more fit, they will work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
than unfit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do.
For example
, one research has shown that doing regular exercises will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
physical and mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should continue to
be hired
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
Overall
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
for humans, which will increase a life span in long run.

On the other hand
, it is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that if a person
physically
strong would be perfect for a job. Although it
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
will beneficial
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
due to their experiences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have abilities to work with new technology with minimal effort and less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.
For instance
, as per a result of the survey in the USA, over 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
one done the task in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of time
rather
than the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Indeed
, these types of evidence prove that having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for humans’ perspective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, would be not a possible reason to hire older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in organizations.

In conclusion
, following various methods, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may create an impact on our life expectancy. In my words, I
strongly
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. Providing more jobs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will no doubt brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes in workplaces.

IELTS essay Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in the workforces.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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