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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there are lots of advertisements on television or on the streets. Some people think that the advertising boosts the sales of goods and it encourages people to buy things unnecessarily. This arguments may be true. In my country, many advertising companies produce advertisements with famous and popular actors or singers. People, especially youngsters, buy goods that their favourite singer advertise, although they do not really need the products. Also, on the television screen, a product may look gorgeous and good quality. As a result of it, people often buy goods without enough consideration. Consumers may not actually need it but they buy goods impulsively soon after they watch the advertising. Furthermore, as many customers buy a particular product due to its advertising campaign, the other people may be affected by the trend, even if the product is not of the real needs of the society. On the other hand, there are various aspects against these arguments. Moreover, it is people's choice to make a decision to buy goods. Advertising may be not a cause of customers' buying habits. Individuals have their own spending habits. If they have got enough disposable Income then the right to mane a decision’s given to them. No one actually can fudge whether the goods sold are the real needs of the society or not. In addition, as there should be a limited amount of disposable income consumers are able to spend, people try to allocate their budgets. They cannot be simply swayed by those advertisements. In conclusion, as customers have their own strong opinions and standard of good quality goods, it’s better to leave them to make their own decision in buy goods. It’s fairly difficult to say everyone’s swayed by advertising and buy good impulsively. However, in sensitive area of businesses such as toy industries, it may be necessary to band advertising to those children as children have not got enough ability to control themselves or to know what they need.
Nowadays, there are lots of advertisements on television or on the streets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the advertising boosts the sales of
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
goods and
it encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things
unnecessarily
. This arguments may be true. In my country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
produce advertisements with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and popular actors or singers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
,
especially
youngsters,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
that their
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favourite’ is British English.
favourite
singer advertise, although they do not
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
the products.

Also
, on the television screen, a product may look gorgeous and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
quality.
As a result
of it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
consideration. Consumers may not actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
impulsively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
after they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the advertising.
Furthermore
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
customers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a particular product due to its advertising campaign, the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the trend, even if the product is not of the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the society.

On the other hand
, there are various aspects against these arguments.
Moreover
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's choice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
. Advertising may be not a cause of customers' buying habits. Individuals have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
spending habits. If they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
disposable Income then the right to mane a decision’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to them. No one actually can fudge whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
sold are the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the society or not.

In addition
, as there should be a limited amount of disposable income consumers are able to spend,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to allocate their budgets. They cannot be
simply
swayed by those advertisements.

In conclusion
, as customers have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
strong opinions and standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
, it’s better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decision in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
. It’s
fairly
difficult to say everyone’s swayed by advertising and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
impulsively
.
However
, in sensitive area of businesses such as toy industries, it may be necessary to band advertising to those children as children have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
ability to control themselves or to know what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
.
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IELTS essay Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
328 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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