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Today people can share all aspects of their daily lives on social media. This is positive or negative development?

Today people can share all aspects of their daily lives on social media. This is positive or negative development? gYmnD
In fast paced life, social media plays a crucial role not only to the young people but also even older people. Some people believe that, it impacts for development their life positive but other people think that internet has plenty drawback. However, it is hard to agree with this opinion due to relevant examples. This essay will discuss both views with supporting points. On the one hand, social media have people which replicate photos celebrities and earn money. It is not bad, but there are people who use this photos with bad intent. These people who use a fake account can open the same profile with photos and write that, they can do everything that no one can do anything to them. For instance, last year, government fined famous blogger for the fact that she was without a mask at home, but the fake account changed the back screen to some kind of restaurant and distributed it on the Internet. As a result, on social media increase face accounts which cause inconvenience to others life. On the other hand, there are many advantageous reasons for people who share aspects of their life on social media. The first and the most important reason, they can earn quiet good money. They collect subscribers, when they are actively engaged on social media. For example, if you have many followers on Instagram, you can advertise this product in your story. As a result, you can become prominent and rich thanks to the internet. To sum up, there are merits and demerits of these both views and following these, people have to conceive what moment may to share on social media and what should not. As far as I am concerned, people can share their life on the internet because they will make money without spending a lot of energy.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
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social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
plays a crucial role not
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only
to the young
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people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
even older
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people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that, it impacts for development their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that internet has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
drawback.
However
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion due to relevant examples. This essay will discuss both views with supporting points.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which replicate photos celebrities and earn money. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this photos with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
intent. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a fake account can open the same profile with photos and write that, they can do everything that no one can do anything to them.
For instance
, last year,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
fined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
blogger for the fact that she was without a mask at home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the fake account
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the back screen to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of restaurant and distributed it on the Internet.
As a result
, on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
increase face accounts which cause inconvenience to others life.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantageous reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who share aspects of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. The
first
and the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason, they can earn quiet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
money. They collect subscribers, when they are
actively
engaged on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
For example
, if you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
followers on Instagram, you can advertise this product in your story.
As a result
, you can become prominent and rich thanks to the internet.

To sum up, there are merits and demerits of these both views and following these,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
conceive what moment may to share on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and what should not. As far as I
am concerned
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on the internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money without spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
energy.
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IELTS essay Today people can share all aspects of their daily lives on social media. This is positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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