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today,online shops are increasing, some people think that in the future all the traditional shops will close. what is your opinion?

today, online shops are increasing, some people think that in the future all the traditional shops will close. what is your opinion? 0AKl9
Nowadays, proliferating online shopping has become quite common among the masses. Therefore, certain people often argued that traditional outlets are going to be closed in the upcoming days. Personally, I believe that though internet purchasing is gaining huge popularity, yet old shopping markets would have a strong presence in the upcoming era also. The fundamental reason why electronic purchasing is gaining immense popularity is the availability of all products under one roof. In other words, consumers would not have to visit a number of shopping outlets for the fulfilment of their requirements, they can order all variety of products with a single click of a button. Even though they can also order those products which may not physically available in the local markets. For example, the latest survey by "The Times of India" reveals that 50% of consumers have claimed that they prefer to do online shopping over offline purchasing for accessibility to all shopping items in no time. Despite this advantage, still offline shopping would have a presence in the shopping world. The prime reason for my belief is that there are certain shopping items which could not be purchased from websites. Take an example of cloths, if a person wants to purchase proper fit outfits in a short period than he would prefer to visit the local market or shopping mall rather than placing an order online. For instance, some times people do not obtain the same outfit as they desire from online purchasing. Therefore, traditional purchasing would have their customers even in a subsequent point as well. In conclusion, it is indeed true that electronic purchasing is increasing at a rapid rate. Therefore, a section of society proposed that traditional markets are going to be closed in forthcoming days. However, I believe that even though the public can obtain desired products in a short time, still old shopping outlets would have a strong presence in subsequent point for shopping.
Nowadays, proliferating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has become quite common among the masses.
Therefore
, certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that traditional outlets are going to
be closed
in the upcoming days.
Personally
, I believe that though internet purchasing is gaining huge popularity,
yet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
markets would have a strong presence in the upcoming era
also
.

The fundamental reason why electronic purchasing is gaining immense popularity is the availability of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
under one roof.
In other words
, consumers would not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
visit a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
outlets for the
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
of their requirements, they can order all variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with a single click of a button.
“Even though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even though
they can
also
order those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which may not
physically
available in the local markets.
For example
, the latest survey by
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The Times of India
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
reveals that 50% of consumers have claimed that they prefer to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
over offline purchasing for accessibility to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
items in no time.

Despite this advantage,
still
offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
would have a presence in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
world. The prime reason for my belief is that there are certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
items which could not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
from websites. Take an example of cloths, if a person wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
proper fit outfits in a short
Use "(period)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
period
than he would prefer to visit the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall
rather
than placing an order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not obtain the same outfit as they desire from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
purchasing.
Therefore
, traditional purchasing would have their customers even in a subsequent point
as well
.

In conclusion
, it is
indeed
true that electronic purchasing is increasing at a rapid rate.
Therefore
, a section of society proposed that traditional markets are going to
be closed
in forthcoming days.
However
, I believe that
even though
the public can obtain desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in a short time,
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
outlets would have a strong presence in subsequent point for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
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IELTS essay today, online shops are increasing, some people think that in the future all the traditional shops will close. what is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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