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Today more people than ever are travelling around the world. Some people believe that such travelling helps to broaden people's minds, while others think people should be encouraged to fully explore their own country before traveling overseas. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Today more people than ever are travelling around the world. Some people believe that such travelling helps to broaden people's minds, while others think people should be encouraged to fully explore their own country before traveling overseas. aA5wV
New means of transportation, nowadays, have provided the chance to visit foreign countries more easily. Whereas a group of people present the view that travelling around the world can be beneficial to expand the thoughts, some others believe that people initially need to discover every corner of their own country. I strongly agree with the former opinion. On the one hand, a number of individuals justifiable argu that travelling oversea can help with becomming familiar with various cultures and, in turn, one could gain new information to enhance  some aspects of their life. These people are more likely to succeed in their personal lives and even careers as they are knowledgeable  and more experienced. It is also maintained that by giving yourself an opportunity to spend some quality time abroad can help you refresh your mind in order to being more productive in back home. Furthermore, you would have the opportunity of visiting well-known museums, testing local cuisines, becomming familiar with strange conventions and customes, etc. On the other hand, another group claim that it would economicly be more beneficial to visit around the nation first. They insist that it would cost less for travelers and cash flow circulates inside the country that will result in flourishing of the national economy. However, l do not find this conversation convincing as there are some foreign destinations which can provide you a memorable journey with a reasonable price. Moreover, some businessmen explore the strange countries in search of new international markets to boost their national economy by exporting goods to these oversea markets. To conclude, I personally believe visiting international communities provide you with experiencing cultural diversity in order to develop the quality of your life and open the door to new experiences. It, also, can help producers to find new markets.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
means of transportation, nowadays, have provided the chance to visit foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
more
easily
. Whereas a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
present the view that travelling around the world can be beneficial to expand the thoughts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
initially
need to discover every corner of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former opinion.

On the one hand, a number of individuals justifiable
Possible spelling mistake found.
argu
that travelling oversea can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
becomming
familiar with various cultures and, in turn, one could gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
information to enhance
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects of their life. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more likely to succeed in their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and even careers as they are knowledgeable
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
and more experienced. It is
also
maintained that by giving yourself an opportunity to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality time abroad can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you refresh your mind in order to
Did you mean "be"?
being
more productive in back home.
Furthermore
, you would have the opportunity of visiting well-known museums, testing local cuisines,
Possible spelling mistake found.
becomming
familiar with strange conventions and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "customs", the plural form of the noun 'custom'?
customes
, etc.

On the other hand
, another group claim that it would
Possible spelling mistake found.
economicly
be more beneficial to visit around the nation
first
. They insist that it would cost less for travelers and cash flow circulates inside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that will result in flourishing of the national economy.
However
, l do not find this conversation convincing as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
foreign destinations which can provide you a memorable journey with a reasonable price.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
businessmen explore the strange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in search of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
international markets to boost their national economy by exporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to these oversea markets.

To conclude
, I
personally
believe visiting international communities provide you with experiencing cultural diversity in order to develop the quality of your life and open the door to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiences. It,
also
, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
producers to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
markets.
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IELTS essay Today more people than ever are travelling around the world. Some people believe that such travelling helps to broaden people's minds, while others think people should be encouraged to fully explore their own country before traveling overseas.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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