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Today more people are shopping online than ever before Why do people choose to shop in this way Are there disadvantages to shopping online v.1

Today more people are shopping online than ever before Why do people choose to shop in this way Are there disadvantages to shopping online v. 1
Celebrities have been major influences for a long time and their income has often been a debated subject. While some argue that they badly affect our society and should be paid less, others think that they are fairly paid because of their positive impact. Both views will be discussed in the following lines. On the one hand, the detrimental effect of actors, football players and singers is considered by some to be a serious concern, especially to youngsters. Teenagers sometimes imitate the actions of celebrities, even if it was catastrophic. A recent article on the New York Times reports shocking figures as it claims that the number of car accidents during the month of December 2018 caused by drivers imitating the famous movie Bird Box, by hiding their eyes while driving, equaled the number of crashes due to bad weather. However, if the positive effects of influences surpass their negatives, the income they receive may not become a contested subject. This shows that celebrities should be careful with the content they introduce because it can have serious drawbacks. On the other hand, entertainers are seen as role models and their good deeds push people to follow them. A prime example of this is the advertising campaign that was launched by the famous football player Mohammed Salah which resulted in a major increase in the number of phone calls of addicted teenagers who requested a medical intervention to help them quit the addiction, according to the official numbers published by the Egyptian ministry of health. Therefore, the financial recognition of entertainers for their jobs can be understood because their effect is worthwhile. In conclusion, having shown both points of view, some think that entertainers are overpaid, while others are on the contrary. It is true that celebrities play a major role in influencing members of society; however, their impact will continue to be an argument, whether it is positive or negative.
Celebrities
have been major influences for a long time and their income has
often
been a debated subject. While
some
argue that they
badly
affect our society and should
be paid
less, others
think
that they are
fairly
paid
because
of their
positive
impact. Both views will
be discussed
in the following lines.

On the one hand, the detrimental effect of actors, football players and singers
is considered
by
some
to be a serious concern,
especially
to youngsters.
Teenagers
sometimes
imitate the actions of
celebrities
, even if it was catastrophic. A recent article on the New York Times reports shocking figures as it claims that the
number
of car accidents during the month of December 2018 caused by drivers imitating the
famous
movie Bird Box, by hiding their eyes while driving, equaled the
number
of crashes due to
bad
weather.
However
, if the
positive
effects of influences surpass their negatives, the income they receive may not become a contested subject. This
shows
that
celebrities
should be careful with the content they introduce
because
it can have serious drawbacks.

On the other hand
, entertainers are
seen
as role models and their
good
deeds push
people
to follow them. A prime example of this is the advertising campaign that
was launched
by the
famous
football player Mohammed Salah which resulted in a major increase in the
number
of phone calls of addicted
teenagers
who requested a medical intervention to
help
them quit the addiction, according to the official
numbers
published by the Egyptian ministry of health.
Therefore
, the financial recognition of entertainers for their jobs can
be understood
because
their effect is worthwhile.

In conclusion
, having shown both points of view,
some
think
that entertainers are overpaid, while others are
on the contrary
. It is true that
celebrities
play a major role in influencing members of society;
however
, their impact will continue to be an argument, whether it is
positive
or
negative
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more people are shopping online than ever before Why do people choose to shop in this way Are there disadvantages to shopping online v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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