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Today more and more young children have electronic gadgets such as computers and mobile phones. What positive effects can they gain? Use specific details to support your answer

Today more and more young children have electronic gadgets such as computers and mobile phones. What positive effects can they gain? Use specific details to support your answer bDy86
In today’s society, the technology has been advanced greatly and people living in this modern era can not live without technological devices even young generations. Computers and mobile phones have changed the way we learn, play and work and also a great source of entertainment for everyone in leisured time especially for children. In this essay, I will examine the positive impacts of technology associated with people’s use. Firstly, electronic gadgets like computers, smartphones play a vital role to stimulate our intellect as children use it wisely. For example, they have a variety of choices playing games and different types to select and develop their thinking abilities, make a good decision and improve creativity and innovation. Second, people currently living in the life, which are increasingly full of media so children grow up in media rich environment. Some programs can be knowledgeable and include educational potential that could encourage teenagers to increase their research skills. Moreover, technology is always changing and it becomes faster, cheaper and portable for youngster to use, they are easily attracted by the educational computer programs and raising children’s awareness in an easy way to absorb effectively, it is proved to be pleased by both teachers and parents. Young children, who are using computers in the right path can have a productive work and have a huge ambitious try to discover many miracle things in artificial intelligence could be a great computer professional in future. As can be obviously seen, students doing media-related activities and many kinds of media like study and relax or play games with listening to music concurrently, it might be more multitasking as individuals and the youth are becoming more skilled at doing more than one task at a time. Children have more positive opinions, life could be more images and adapt to live and work in this society and it is seen that they are good at shifting their attention, skill of monitoring, coordinating many tasks at a time. For a better future, young people are confident with media use and having more essential skills for workplace. In conclusion, all the technological devices can give several benefits but with good users, we can have a positive effects and with the determination to learn the computing software, hardware and networking would become a skilled person for the upcoming future. I believe the computer is an amazing invention to serve human beings. However, we have to use it appropriately and in moderation.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society, the technology has
been advanced
greatly
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in this modern era can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without technological devices even young generations. Computers and mobile phones have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way we learn, play and work and
also
a great source of entertainment for everyone in leisured time
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In this essay, I will examine the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts of technology associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

Firstly
, electronic gadgets like computers, smartphones play a vital role to stimulate our intellect as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
wisely
.
For example
, they have a variety of choices playing games and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types to select and develop their thinking abilities,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decision and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
creativity and innovation. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
currently
living in the life, which are
increasingly
full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
rich environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
programs can be knowledgeable and include educational potential that could encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to increase their research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Moreover
, technology is always changing and it becomes faster, cheaper and portable for youngster to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, they are
easily
attracted by the educational computer programs and raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
awareness
Consider replacing "in an easy way" with the adverb for "easy"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an easy way
to absorb
effectively
, it
is proved
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
by both teachers and parents.

Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, who are using computers in the right path can have a productive work and have a huge ambitious try to discover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
miracle things in artificial intelligence could be a great computer professional
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. As can be
obviously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, students doing media-related activities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
like study and relax or play games with listening to music
concurrently
, it might be more multitasking as individuals and the youth are becoming more skilled at doing more than one task at a time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
have more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
opinions, life could be more images and adapt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and work in this society and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at shifting their attention,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of monitoring, coordinating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tasks at a time. For a better future, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are confident with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and having more essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for workplace.

In conclusion
, all the technological devices can give several benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
users, we can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects and with the determination to learn the computing software, hardware and networking would become a skilled person for the upcoming future. I believe the computer is an amazing invention to serve human beings.
However
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
appropriately
and in moderation.
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IELTS essay Today more and more young children have electronic gadgets such as computers and mobile phones. What positive effects can they gain? Use specific details to support your answer

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
409 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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