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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? KN21
Travelling is always a part of society worldwide. Nowadays, the people from all across the world are prone to visit different areas of extreme climate without any restrictions to the level of altitudes. This essay will discuss, both advantages and demerits of travelling to this kind of regions. Firstly, visiting places with extremely difficult climatic conditions can be beneficial in many ways. Travelling to adventurous places can make the individual to stand out from the crowd with the courage. This is because, travel to some sporty areas can make a person self-reliant in all aspects of his life like from food to shelter. Consequently, this will boost up the confidence level and success in his life. For instance, if a person visiting Himalaya, where he have to build a tent by himself for the stay, this may increase the confidence as well as can give him a feel of victory. Secondly, travelling to such sporty areas can be beneficial for the reporters of the media. As this can give fame to them, for covering extremely rare and difficult footages. However, there are many disadvantages of travelling to the complicated areas of the world. Tourists will find it difficult to cope up with the changing weather. Due to this, there will be many emergency health issues in the travelers. As a result of this, tourists will be requiring immediate medical attentions, which will be lacked in such rare sporty areas. For example, if a person with Asthma condition is traveling to a high altitude region, this will make his health condition worsen and he may require some health assistance. When this medical emergency service is not be available in that region, this can create danger to his life. In conclusion, travelling to the regions with extreme weather can have both merit and demerit. Adventures can be a part of travel, but not as part of taking lives of the tourists. Travelling with precautions can be useful in boosting confidence in the travellers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
is always a part of society worldwide. Nowadays, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from all across the world are prone to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of extreme climate without any restrictions to the level of altitudes. This essay will discuss, both advantages and demerits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to this kind of regions.

Firstly
, visiting places with
extremely
difficult climatic conditions can be beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
to adventurous places can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the individual to stand out from the crowd with the courage. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, travel to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sporty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a person self-reliant in all aspects of his life like from food to shelter.
Consequently
, this will boost up the confidence level and success in his life.
For instance
, if a person visiting Himalaya, where he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
to build a tent by himself for the stay, this may increase the confidence
as well
as can give him a feel of victory.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to such sporty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can be beneficial for the reporters of the media. As this can give fame to them, for covering
extremely
rare and difficult
Possible spelling mistake found.
footages
.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to the complicated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of the world. Tourists will find it difficult to cope up with the changing weather. Due to this, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
emergency health issues in the travelers.
As a result
of this, tourists will be requiring immediate medical attentions, which will
be lacked
in such rare sporty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
For example
, if a person with Asthma condition is traveling to a high altitude region, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
his health condition
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
worsen and
he may require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health assistance. When this medical emergency service is not
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
available in that region, this can create
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to his life.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to the regions with extreme weather can have both merit and demerit. Adventures can be a part of travel,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not as part of taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the tourists.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
with precautions can be useful in boosting confidence in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
.
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IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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