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today many countries are spending large amounts of money on space exploration.What in ,your opinion,some of the advantages and disadvantages exploring outher space ? Do you think this expenditure is justifişed ?

today many countries are spending large amounts of money on space exploration. What in, your opinion, some of the advantages and disadvantages exploring outher space? Do you think this expenditure is justifişed? MReN
Throughout history humans wonder the sky’s secrets, so lots of famous peaople invented devices such as telescope, to find out this secret, however todays we have little information about space. In order to gain more knowledge about it, big countries allocated billions of dollars for these researches. I think Contrary to these right reasons, there are some negative effecst because of these invesment. Space exploration has some beneficial results, mention some of them; We can seen lots of advanced technological devices in our daily lives, some of them are invented thanks to sky studies, because most advance technology should be use in this industrie to achive difficult tasks. after some decades these technologies served to be used in our daily lives. Other benefit is about next step of humanity, means earth resource is diminishing rapidly, so we should find either somewhere to live or some source to utilize. At this point space can be give a solution for our problems. On the other hands there are also negative effects, which can’t be neglacted. First off all is that, while we trying to save future, we demolish our today. These huge fund can be spent for some green energy production to solve shortage energy resource problem. Second problem is that in todays world lots of people can't reach their vital need, but space race between big states won't solve their problem, contrary they consume earth resource to achive big space project, but I think every people in the earth has a right on eart resources. To conclude, space researches should be continued without become a race, because in a racing participants think just win so they can neglect human right, ethic or nature. I wish to get some space travel before die.
Throughout history humans wonder the sky’s secrets,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lots of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Possible spelling mistake found.
peaople
invented devices such as telescope, to find out this secret,
however
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
. In order to gain more knowledge about it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
countries allocated billions of dollars for these researches. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Contrary to these right reasons, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Possible spelling mistake found.
effecst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these
Possible spelling mistake found.
invesment
.

Space exploration has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
beneficial results, mention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them; We can
Did you mean "see" or "be seen"?
seen
lots of advanced technological devices in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
are invented
thanks to sky studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most advance technology should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in this
Possible spelling mistake found.
industrie
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
achive
difficult tasks.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
decades these technologies served to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Other benefit is about
next
step of humanity, means earth resource is diminishing
rapidly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we should find either somewhere to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
source to utilize. At this point
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
can be give a solution for our problems.

On the other hands there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects, which can’t be
Possible spelling mistake found.
neglacted
.
First
off all is that, while
Did you mean "we're trying", "we are trying", or "we were trying"?
we trying
to save future, we demolish our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. These huge fund can
be spent
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
green energy production to solve shortage energy resource problem. Second problem is that in
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
world lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can't reach their vital need,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
race between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
states won't solve their problem, contrary they consume earth resource to
Possible spelling mistake found.
achive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
project,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the earth has a right
Possible spelling mistake found.
on eart
resources.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
researches should
be continued
without become a race,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in a racing
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "participant"?
participants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
win
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can neglect human right, ethic or nature. I wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
.
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IELTS essay today many countries are spending large amounts of money on space exploration. What in, your opinion, some of the advantages and disadvantages exploring outher space? Do you think this expenditure is justifişed?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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