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Some people think that the government should invest money in arts and cultural events, while others believe that the government should spend money on more important things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the government should invest money in arts and cultural events, while others believe that the government should spend money on more important things. REeG
It is often thought by myriad of people that bureaucrats should financially give support to art and cultural activities, however, others claimed that it is the responsibilities of the authority to invest amount in salient things such as on education and hospital. Different people has distinct mindset. In this essay, I would elucidate both the approaches, and also discuss why it is better to spend money on other essential projects which helps the country to growth. To commence with the first notion that masses believe authority should invest in creativity and culture. First and foremost, investing in these skills is beneficial for economy of the nation. Creativity and imagination enhance the beauty of the provenance. Consequently, more tourists show their interest to visit country and has profound impact on financial status as they pay enormous money for travel and accommodation while visit. Secondly, another major benefits is job employment, which is highest concern of the individuals these days. If government spend more money in art museum and cultural activities then it creates more job offer. For instance, in UK, 70% people are working in art museum resulting reduce the problem of poverty and crime which are basically increasing due to unemployment. Shifting towards the second school of thought, denizens believe to bureaucrats should spend on other useful or important projects such as health care system and on education. Owing to hectic schedule and a sedentary lifestyle people do not get enough time to do physical exercise and workout which can directly lead to health hurdles. Thus, it is better to invest money on hospitals or organize campaign to provide the knowledge of detrimental affects sedentary life schedule. Moreover, spending money on education system is also essential for the governments so that more and more denizens get the education. Hence, these are the sectors in which authority should invest. Having discussed both arguments and counterarguments, I would like to infer that there are lots of other factors where government can spend the money such as hospitals and schools. A google study shows the if government spend money on these places then it enhance the economy as well as reputation of the nation. To conclude, although many people believe that arts and culture is important for our future and regime should spend on it, but it is fruitful for the nation if bureaucrats financially support to hospitals and schools.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that bureaucrats should
financially
give support to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and cultural activities,
however
, others claimed that it is the responsibilities of the authority to invest amount in salient things such as on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
distinct mindset. In this essay, I would elucidate both the approaches, and
also
discuss why it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
essential projects which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the country to growth.

To commence with the
first
notion that masses believe authority should invest in creativity and culture.
First
and foremost, investing in these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is beneficial for economy of the nation. Creativity and imagination enhance the beauty of the provenance.
Consequently
, more tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their interest to visit country and has profound impact on financial status as they pay enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for travel and accommodation while visit.
Secondly
, another major benefits is job employment, which is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
concern of the individuals these days. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
museum and cultural activities then it creates more job offer.
For instance
, in UK, 70%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
museum resulting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the problem of poverty and crime which are
basically
increasing due to unemployment.

Shifting towards the second school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, denizens
The usual collocation for "believe" is "in" not "to". Did you mean "believe in"?
believe to
bureaucrats should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
useful or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
projects such as health care system and on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Owing to hectic schedule and a sedentary lifestyle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to do physical exercise and workout which can
directly
lead to health hurdles.
Thus
, it is better to invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
or organize campaign to provide the knowledge of detrimental affects sedentary life schedule.
Moreover
, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system is
also
essential for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that more and more denizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Hence
, these are the sectors in which authority should invest.

Having discussed both arguments and counterarguments, I would like to infer that there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
and schools. A
"Google" is a proper noun and needs to be capitalized.
google
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on these places then it
Did you mean "enhances"?
enhance
the economy
as well
as reputation of the nation.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and culture is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for our future and regime should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is fruitful for the nation if bureaucrats
financially
support to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
and schools.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the government should invest money in arts and cultural events, while others believe that the government should spend money on more important things.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
397 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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