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Today, it is common to see famous sports people advertising sports products. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, It is a common sight to see plenty of sports companies using well known Sports professionals as brand ambassadors for introducing their products into the market. I believe that the benefits much more than drawbacks. On the one hand, There are numerous drawbacks to advertise sports products. Firstly, most of the sports companies that use sports athletes as advertisement are said to spend more money to hire the player than improving their products. In fact, employing a professional athlete usually costs a fortune and they tend to lack money to make better products or releasing new items. Howewer, others. , included me believe that there are a plethora of benefits to advertise sports products. Some sports companies use a marketing methot for to sell sports products. Consequently, Poeople see some advertisement everywhere and want to believe companies, because a popular sport person get inform about benefits sports products. So, companies sell these high prices products. Moreover, the advertisement with the sports professionals is genuinely appealing, as a result, it can be a good motivation for the public to start playing sports. To sum up, although popular athletes help companies to make more profits and they can motivate the public to start sports for health, the products often become a luxury stuff and no longer achievable for young athletes who poorly enjoy playing sports.
Nowadays, It is a common sight to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
using well known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
professionals as brand ambassadors for introducing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
into the market. I believe that the benefits much more than drawbacks.

On the one hand, There are numerous drawbacks to advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Firstly
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
as advertisement
are said
to spend more money to hire the player than improving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. In fact, employing a professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
usually
costs a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fortune and
they tend to lack money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or releasing new items.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Howewer
, others.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
included me believe that there are a plethora of benefits to advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You should probably use "".
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a marketing
Possible spelling mistake found.
methot
for to sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Consequently
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Poeople
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advertisement everywhere and want to believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
inform about benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
sell these high prices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Moreover
, the advertisement with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
professionals is
genuinely
appealing,
as a result
, it can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
motivation for the public to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
playing sports.

To sum up, although popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
profits and
they can motivate the public to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
for health, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
become a luxury stuff and no longer achievable for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
who
poorly
enjoy playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
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IELTS essay Today, it is common to see famous sports people advertising sports products. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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