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to what extent do you believe that studying history is of little importance in comparison to studying business?

to what extent do you believe that studying history is of little importance in comparison to studying business? 5ayWe
Reports them on street that studying history is a little less relevant than business. That is to say that examining business will be useful for future businessmen. It should be noted that, the history should not be forgotten as well. To my mind learning business or history depends on the person and his future, as it has its advantages and disadvantages. To begin with, history instils a sense of patriotism in each person. They take pride in having a distinct dress code and cultural values. There is a history of every field and topic, from medicine, to music, to art. In addition, history helps the younger generation to appreciate the spirit of their country and gives a lot of knowledge about their ancestors. Not only this but also, business studies has its own advantages too. Business acumen teaches people to survival skills. People do not undoubtedly out to seek job, as they can venture into entrepreneurship. Owing to, learning business degree will give you a good understanding of basic economic principles. For example, how markets are affected by world events, or how to judge a firms’ financial health. In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages of learning business and history. Thus, it can be concluded that every individual has the right to decide what to learn and what he need in this life.
Reports them on street that studying
history
is a
little
less relevant than
business
.
That is
to say that examining
business
will be useful for future businessmen. It should
be noted
that, the
history
should not
be forgotten
as well
. To my mind learning
business
or
history
depends on the person and his future, as it has its advantages and disadvantages.

To
begin
with,
history
instils
a sense of patriotism in each person. They take pride in having a distinct dress code and cultural values. There is a
history
of every field and topic, from medicine, to music, to art.
In addition
,
history
helps
the younger generation to appreciate the spirit of their country and gives
a lot of
knowledge about their ancestors.

Not
only
this
but
also
,
business
studies has its
own
advantages too.
Business
acumen teaches
people
to survival
skills
.
People
do not
undoubtedly
out to seek job, as they can venture into entrepreneurship.

Owing to, learning
business
degree will give you a
good
understanding of basic economic principles.
For example
, how markets are
affected
by world
events
, or how to judge a firms’ financial health.

In conclusion
, there are advantages and disadvantages of learning
business
and
history
.
Thus
, it can
be concluded
that every individual has the right to decide what to learn and what he need in this life.
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IELTS essay to what extent do you believe that studying history is of little importance in comparison to studying business?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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