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To what extent do you agree with this statement?

To what extent do you agree with this statement? rYBpJ
Most people are aware that they need to take some responsibility for their health by eating sensibly and taking regular exercise, and many succeed in doing this. The reasons why others fail can be complex and do not necessarily mean they rely on the medical profession to keep them healthy. The main reasons people give for being less healthy than others are often economic. People who fail to eat sensibly argue that they do not have the time or the money to cook nutritious meals. Being busy and working long hours affect people’s willingness to give up time to go to the gym or join a sports club. These may seem valid excuses, but ultimately they can lead to a sedentary lifestyle. These days, research has shown that there is a direct link between inactivity and illness. Eating large quantities of fat, for instance, can result in weight gain, which can lead to high blood pressure or arthritis; heart-related problems are common among people who live stressful, inactive lives. Eventually, people may end up requiring prescription drugs and hospital appointments in order to treat their conditions. It is often only after this has happened that people decide to change their diet and start exercising, usually on the advice of their doctor. Clearly, if they had always had a healthy lifestyle, they would not have needed medical treatment. However, once they do become ill, most people take steps to redress the situation as best they can. In summary, most people try, with varying degrees of success, to live a healthy lifestyle, even if they take some time to realize how important this is. Only a small proportion of the population are unable to change, and thus rely on doctors.
Most
people
are aware that they need to take
some
responsibility for their health by eating
sensibly
and taking regular exercise, and
many
succeed in doing this. The reasons why others fail can be complex and do not
necessarily
mean they rely on the medical profession to
keep
them healthy.

The main reasons
people
give for being less healthy than others are
often
economic.
People
who fail to eat
sensibly
argue that they do not have the time or the money to cook nutritious meals. Being busy and working long hours affect
people’s
willingness to give up time to go to the gym or
join
a sports club. These may seem valid excuses,
but
ultimately
they can lead to a sedentary lifestyle.

These days, research has shown that there is a direct link between inactivity and illness. Eating large quantities of
fat
,
for instance
, can result in weight gain, which can lead to high blood pressure or arthritis; heart-related problems are common among
people
who
live
stressful, inactive
lives
.
Eventually
,
people
may
end
up requiring prescription drugs and hospital appointments in order to treat their conditions.

It is
often
only
after this has happened that
people
decide to
change
their diet and
start
exercising,
usually
on the advice of their doctor.
Clearly
, if they had always had a healthy lifestyle, they would not have needed medical treatment.
However
, once they do become ill, most
people
take steps to redress the situation as best they can.

In summary, most
people
try, with varying degrees of success, to
live
a healthy lifestyle, even if they take
some
time to realize how
important
this is.
Only
a
small
proportion of the population are unable to
change
, and
thus
rely on doctors.
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IELTS essay To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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