Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

To what extent do the internet increase social cohension

To what extent do the internet increase social cohension kYgnn
As the world becomes more integrated, using the Internet is becoming more popular in both developed and developing countries. Some people think that the more widely-used Internet is, the more isolated society is. However, I argue that the Internet can affect family, friends, and colleagues in both good and bad ways. Firstly, the Internet has the potential to diminish family life, but also enhance it. It helps members in a family stay in touch with each other. It is particularly true for foreign students who want to call their families without too expensive tax. However, couples are easily addicted to online gaming or other online activities. This leads to children's ignorance and carelessness or even a bad example. Secondly, the Internet can distract people from friends, but it also helps people to keep and make friends. For example, it is possible for an injured person stuck at home to use the internet to keep in touch with his friends. Evenly, people can meet friends through social networking. In contrast, shy teens who are always surfing the Internet may lose their social skills or be taken advantage of by their friends they have never met. Similarly, the Internet robs workers' time for face- to- face meeting; however, it can also make it easier to work together. Instead of going out for a meeting, workers tend to read emails all day. Using too much computer may make people less active. However, the Internet brings several advantages to workers. For instance, emails and instant messaging are more useful than phoning for collaboration. Moreover, the Internet allows workers to work from a far distance in case they cannot go to the office. to sum up, the Internet can make our life better or worse. If used appropriately, it can create more togetherness than we thought.
As the world becomes more integrated, using the Internet is becoming more popular in both developed and
developing countries
.
Some
people
think
that the more
widely
-
used
Internet is, the more isolated society is.
However
, I argue that the Internet can affect
family
,
friends
, and colleagues in both
good
and
bad
ways.

Firstly
, the Internet has the potential to diminish
family
life,
but
also
enhance it. It
helps
members in a
family
stay in touch with each other. It is
particularly
true for foreign students who want to call their
families
without too expensive tax.
However
, couples are
easily
addicted to online gaming or other online activities. This leads to children's ignorance and carelessness or even a
bad
example.

Secondly
, the Internet can distract
people
from
friends
,
but
it
also
helps
people
to
keep
and
make
friends
.
For example
, it is possible for an injured person stuck at home to
use
the internet to
keep
in touch with his
friends
.
Evenly
,
people
can
meet
friends
through social networking.
In contrast
, shy teens who are always surfing the Internet may lose their social
skills
or
be taken
advantage of by their
friends
they have never met.

Similarly
, the Internet robs workers' time for face- to- face meeting;
however
, it can
also
make
it easier to work together.
Instead
of going out for a meeting, workers tend to read emails all day. Using too much computer may
make
people
less active.
However
, the Internet brings several advantages to workers.
For instance
, emails and instant messaging are more useful than phoning for collaboration.
Moreover
, the Internet
allows
workers to work from a far distance in case they cannot go to the office.

to
sum up, the Internet can
make
our life better or worse. If
used
appropriately
, it can create more togetherness than we
thought
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay To what extent do the internet increase social cohension

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
301 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts