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To succeed in a business,one needs to know maths. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

To succeed in a business, one needs to know maths. pyPd
Business are closely tied to mathematics. Many people that already succeed on their business are the people who have a good skill of calculating. They use the mathematics skill for predicting the future and prevent the bad outcome that destroy their business. But not all the business tactics are using mathematics skill. There are several factor that also can not be predict using mathematics skill. Personally, I agree that mathematics skill is important to run the business. Many people on the business community are using stock market to gain the profit of their business. Stock market can be predicted by using mathematics skill. For example, if the business owner wants their company to improve, they need many investors to invest on their company. By going to public, their company automatically can accept the investor from anyone. The company also can get motivation to growing their business. Because of the demand from investor to want to share their profit, the companies should grow extremely. Mathematics skill are useful in this situation because the business owner can calculate and manage their company to grow. The mathematics skill is important for running business. But, their also many exceptions that mathematics are not always matters. The corona virus pandemic is the example of the mathematics can not predict this kind of situation. Because of this pandemic, many business owners are struggle on their business. The business that hit so hard from this pandemic is the restaurant, real estate, and tourism. The stock market of their business is decrease a lot in recent year. In contrast, the medical industry and e-commerce are now gaining popularity by a lot of investor. That is because many investors are now focusing on the type of business that are used by many people in this pandemic. This can not be managed by using mathematics skill. In conclusion, mathematics is important for the people that running their business. They can gain and manage their business by using probability and some calculation. But, the corona virus pandemic made the mathematics skill useless. This kind of situation can not be predicted by using calculation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
are
closely
tied to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that already succeed on their

business are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
of calculating. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill


for predicting the future and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
outcome that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
not

all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
tactics are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
. There are
Possible agreement error. The noun factor seems to be countable; consider using: "several factors".
several factor
that
also
can not

be
Consider using a past participle here: "predicted".
predict
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.

Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to run the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
community are using stock market to gain the profit of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. Stock

market can
be predicted
by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
.
For example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owner

wants their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
, they need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investors
to invest on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. By

going to public, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
automatically
can accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investor
from anyone. The

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivation to growing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the demand from

investor to want to share their profit, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should grow
extremely
. Mathematics

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
are useful in this situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owner can calculate and manage their

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to grow.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for running
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, their
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
exceptions

that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
are not always matters. The
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
pandemic is the example of the

mathematics can not predict this kind of situation.
Because of this
pandemic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
business

owners are struggle on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
that hit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
from this pandemic is

the restaurant, real estate, and tourism. The stock market of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is decrease a lot

in recent year.
In contrast
, the medical industry and e-commerce are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
gaining popularity

by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investor
.
That is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investors
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
focusing on the type of business

that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this pandemic. This can not
be managed
by using

mathematics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that running their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. They

can gain and manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
by using probability and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
calculation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the

The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
pandemic made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
useless. This kind of situation can not
be predicted
by using calculation.
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IELTS essay To succeed in a business, one needs to know maths.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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