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Advertising discouroges people from being different individuals by making us all want lo do the same and look the same. Do you agree or disagree?

Advertising discouroges people from being different individuals by making us all want lo do the same and look the same. YGYB
The role of advertisements in destroying individuality has sparked much debate in the recent times. Some people opine that advertisements eliminate individual sense of identity, making people indistinguishable from each other. l, however, disagree with this allegation. To begin with, when any advertisement bombards people with any new product, then people rush to buy it and it appears that all people are doing the same. However, this similarity is very short-lived, as sooner or later they realize that it is a huge waste of time and money to spend on something that is not really appropriate for them. Therefore, ads cannot suppress individuality permanently. Secondly, all people cannot afford all things shown in the adverts. Even when ads use famous celebs to endorse their products, and people want to purchase those things, even then they have to consider their pocket and requirement. For instance, when it comes to luxury goods, solely a marginal nunrber of purchasers can afford the financial cost. Therefore, no matter how attractive and persuasive an advertisement is, never can it tempt people to make the same purchase. Most people cannot afford to upset the whole monthly budget just because of certain alluring ads. Furthermore, when we talk of the latest fashions, all people do not wear the similar clothes because of ads. lf people wear jeans, it is because jeans are comfortable, and in today's fast life people need comfortable I clothes. Nowadays, everyone knows that only that fashion should be followed which suits them. lf adverts show celebs in flared pants, those who are not blessed with a good height would surely not follow them. To sum up, from what has been analyzed above, it is concluded that advertisement cannot dominate the market trends as all people have different requirements, different material wealth and different choices. lf at allthere are any similarities, they are very short lived.
The role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in destroying individuality has sparked much debate in the recent times.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
eliminate individual sense of identity, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
indistinguishable from each other.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
l
,
however
, disagree with this allegation.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, when any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
bombards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with any new product, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rush to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it and it appears that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are doing the same.
However
, this similarity is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
, as sooner or later they realize that it is a huge waste of time and money to spend on something
that is
not
really
appropriate for them.
Therefore
, ads cannot suppress individuality
permanently
.

Secondly
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot afford all things shown in the adverts. Even when ads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
celebs to endorse their products, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
those things, even then they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consider their pocket and requirement.
For instance
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to luxury
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
,
solely
a marginal
Possible spelling mistake found.
nunrber
of purchasers can afford the financial cost.
Therefore
, no matter how attractive and persuasive an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is, never can it tempt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot afford to upset the whole monthly budget
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of certain alluring ads.

Furthermore
, when we talk of the latest fashions, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not wear the similar clothes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of ads.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lf
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wear jeans, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
jeans are comfortable, and in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need comfortable I
The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "clothe"
clothes
. Nowadays, everyone knows that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that fashion should
be followed
which suits them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lf
adverts

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
celebs in flared pants, those who are not blessed with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
height would
surely
not follow them.

To sum up, from what has
been analyzed
above, it
is concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
cannot dominate the market trends as all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
requirements,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
material wealth and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
choices.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lf
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
allthere
are any similarities, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
.
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IELTS essay Advertising discouroges people from being different individuals by making us all want lo do the same and look the same.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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