Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

To see the precise band score for this text, more errors, and improvements please use our premium checker ?

To see the precise band score for this text, more errors, and improvements please use our premium checker? Bwn6d
It's a common belief that scholars' performance and emotional development have more impact on educators than on their classmates. However, I maintain that classmates can present more powerful influences than their tutors because they can help them feel motivated and become grown-up by competing and cooperating with them. Initially, students often tend to compete with their classmates. Competition is extremely fierce in the classroom, where adolescents study the same material at the same place. For instance, students usually have a desire to outperform their peers by demonstrating broader knowledge and achieving higher scores. According to a recent survey, students stated that their peers motivated them to study better than their teachers. Thus, classroom competition plays an indispensable role in monitoring individuals’ development progress. Moreover, socializing at school allows children to grow emotionally through cultivating relationships with peers. Students spend a large amount of time in the classroom. Classmates help them grow emotionally by providing them with new ideas and experiences. This can help students develop a better ability to control their emotions and get along with others and cultivate team spirit. For example, shows that adolescents learn how to control their tempers and cooperate with others mostly by interacting with their friends at school. This proves that relationships with classmates are extremely important for children's emotional development. In conclusion, scholars’ performance and emotional development are motivated by competing with classmates and growing through relationships. For these reasons, it's clear that students' academic achievement and emotional growth are influenced by their classmates better than the educators
It's a common belief that scholars' performance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
development have more impact on educators than on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
.
However
, I maintain that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
can present more powerful influences than their tutors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them feel motivated and become grown-up by competing and cooperating with them.

Initially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tend to compete with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
. Competition is
extremely
fierce in the classroom, where adolescents study the same material at the same place.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
usually
have a desire to outperform their peers by demonstrating broader knowledge and achieving higher scores. According to a recent survey,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
stated that their peers motivated them to study better than their teachers.
Thus
, classroom competition plays an indispensable role in monitoring individuals’ development progress.

Moreover
, socializing at school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
children to grow
emotionally
through cultivating relationships with peers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
spend a large amount of time in the classroom.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Classmates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them grow
emotionally
by providing them with new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and experiences. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
develop a better ability to control their emotions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with others and cultivate team spirit.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that adolescents learn how to control their tempers and cooperate with others
mostly
by interacting with their friends at school. This proves that relationships with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
development.

In conclusion
, scholars’ performance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
development
are motivated
by competing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
and growing through relationships. For these reasons, it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that students' academic achievement and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
growth
are influenced
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
better than the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
educators

IELTS essay To see the precise band score for this text, more errors, and improvements please use our premium checker?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • To see the precise band score for this text, more errors, and improvements please use our premium checker ?