Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Throughout the developing world more and more adults are less active and as a result less healthy.

Throughout the developing world more and more adults are less active and as a result less healthy. OVmwN
Over the last several decades people have generally become more inactive, even in poorer countries. Partly as a result, obesity and other health problems are rising. This essay will explain why this is happening and outline several ways to improve the situation. There are several reasons for this rise. First, there is the modern demand for cars. As people grow richer the first major purchase is typically a car. However, traveling in this way dramatically decreases the amount of time spent walking and cycling. Second, is the growth in television, the Internet, and now online gaming. All of these activities force people to remain still while they enjoy them. They are also fairly addictive, which means that once the youth are exposed to them, they are likely to continue doing them when they are adults. The final cause is urbanization. As an increasingly large proportion of the population lives in cities, it is more difficult for the average person to get sufficient exercise. However, what can be done about this? One way is for societies to demand better urban planning from their governments to encourage urbanites to use cars less and their bodies more. Increasing the number of parks and making it easy to walk to and from work are all good examples of this. A similar strategy could discourage reliance on cars. In other words, people would walk a short distance, take public transport, and then walk the remaining distance. If all of these ideas were implemented, the general population would be more active. Unfortunately, these ideas do not directly deal with the problem of the youth culture obsessed with the Internet. In conclusion, although people have become more sedentary, there are clearly a number of ways to boost the level of activity throughout developing nations. However, it will take a lot of political will and local pressure for them to succeed.
Over the last several decades
people
have
generally
become more inactive, even in poorer countries. Partly
as a result
, obesity and other health problems are rising. This essay will
explain
why this is happening and outline several
ways
to
improve
the situation.

There are several reasons for this rise.
First
, there is the modern demand for
cars
.
As
people
grow richer the
first
major
purchase
is
typically
a
car
.
However
, traveling in this
way
dramatically
decreases the amount of time spent walking and cycling. Second, is the growth in television, the Internet, and
now
online gaming. All of these activities force
people
to remain
still
while they enjoy them. They are
also
fairly
addictive, which means that once the youth
are exposed
to them, they are likely to continue doing
them when
they are adults. The final cause is urbanization. As an
increasingly
large proportion of the population
lives
in cities, it is more difficult for the average person to
get
sufficient exercise.

However
, what can
be done
about this? One
way
is for societies to demand better urban planning from their
governments
to encourage urbanites to
use
cars
less and their bodies more. Increasing the number of parks and making it easy to walk to and from work are all
good
examples of this. A similar strategy could discourage reliance on
cars
.
In other words
,
people
would walk a short distance, take public transport, and then walk the remaining distance. If all of these
ideas
were implemented
, the general population would be more active. Unfortunately, these
ideas
do not
directly
deal with the problem of the youth culture obsessed with the Internet.

In conclusion
, although
people
have become more sedentary, there are
clearly
a number of
ways
to boost the level of activity throughout developing nations.
However
, it will take
a lot of
political will and local pressure for them to succeed.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Throughout the developing world more and more adults are less active and as a result less healthy.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic: