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Do you agree for the children live in the city or the countryside?

Do you agree for the children live in the city or the countryside? GMXo2
It is a well known fact by everybody that the place where children are brought up is essential. These days, some may hold the opinion that it is a better for children who lived in the countryside than big city life. As far as I know, I hold the idea that growing up in the huge city has more advantages and have an excellent chance to develop skills than countryside. There are majority of the younger people who are interested in taking part in a physical activity, system of education, entertaining activity. Some people believe that the countryside is a perfect place for children to enjoy the fresh atmosphere, plays useful games, housework, and well-manner. It is not effected by climate changed such as air pollution, traffic-jam or less crime so it brings their a peaceful life. They still keep a good relationship with neighbor, relatives and others simple because the children are friendly, naive with sense of community. In contract, the children who go to to school to meet up with teacher and classmate on a daily basis which learn skills how to communicate, build self confident to stand in front of crowded people. There are many schools for the children to choose because their parents care about the standard of education which develop basic skill. In the huge city, you feel that it is really get stuck and uncomfortable place but not they walked at the park in the early morning to improve their health, get fit or maintain a balance life. I absolutely agree with statement that the high education is more and more increasing in several various cities. The city has many entertaining activities including movie theater, club, lively bar with famous chain store where there are kinds people like to gather together to relax after a busy day. It is certain that the modern technology is common things cater to public people all over the world. We won't worry about equipment of tools in the hospital where contained assurance facilities, the doctor is enthusiastic when treating. To illustrate, they love speaking English language to make different cultural friends to improve their better voice that become a good speaker. On top of that! It such a perfect place for the visitors who would like to visit so e popular landmarks with try plenty of foods in the city. You have to work, right. The people who are find of working hours in a city simple because it has various jobs with high salary. Having a good opportunity to promote career, gain more experience in a foreign company, live independently and responsibility for duty. All in all, I strongly believe that the city has much more advantages than the countryside. We can develop the hobby talent in the future. A place gives them to practice hoping.
It is a well known fact by everybody that the
place
where
children
are brought
up is essential. These days,
some
may hold the opinion that it is a better for
children
who
lived
in the
countryside
than
big
city life. As far as I know, I hold the
idea
that growing up in the huge city has more advantages and have an excellent chance to develop
skills
than
countryside
. There are
majority of
the younger
people
who
are interested
in taking part in a physical activity, system of education, entertaining activity.
Some
people
believe that the
countryside
is a perfect
place
for
children
to enjoy the fresh atmosphere, plays useful games, housework, and well-manner. It is not effected by climate
changed
such as air pollution, traffic-jam or less crime
so
it brings
their
a peaceful life. They
still
keep
a
good
relationship with neighbor, relatives
and others
simple
because
the
children
are friendly, naive with sense of community. In contract, the
children
who
go
to to
school to
meet
up with teacher and classmate on a daily basis which learn
skills
how to communicate, build
self confident
to stand in front of crowded
people
. There are
many
schools for the
children
to choose
because
their parents care about the standard of education which develop basic
skill
. In the huge city, you feel that it is
really
get
stuck and uncomfortable
place
but
not they walked at the park in the early morning to
improve
their health,
get
fit or maintain a balance life. I
absolutely
agree
with statement that the high education is more and more increasing in several various
cities
. The city has
many
entertaining activities including movie theater, club, lively bar with
famous
chain store where there are kinds
people
like to gather together to relax after a busy day. It is certain that the modern technology is common things cater to public
people
all over the world. We won't worry about equipment of tools in the hospital where contained assurance facilities, the doctor is enthusiastic when treating. To illustrate, they
love
speaking English language to
make
different
cultural friends to
improve
their better voice that become a
good
speaker.
On top of that
! It such a perfect
place
for the visitors
who
would like to visit
so
e popular landmarks with try
plenty
of foods in the city. You
have to
work, right. The
people
who
are find of working hours in a city simple
because
it has various jobs with high salary. Having a
good
opportunity to promote career, gain more experience in a foreign
company
,
live
independently
and responsibility for duty. All in all, I
strongly
believe that the city has much more advantages than the
countryside
. We can develop the hobby talent in the future. A
place
gives them to practice hoping.
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IELTS essay Do you agree for the children live in the city or the countryside?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
469 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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