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three days work or five days

three days work or five days KwqX6
Controversy exists over whether employees should work three days a week for long hours or work five days for shorter hours. Whereas, some hold the opinion that three days is beneficial working for long hours, while other adhere five days a week is suitable. However, I would rather on the former point of view in that not only does employee have more time for entertainment, but also he can improve his economic condition by working in another part-time job. The first aspect which is convincing enough to favor the former point of view is that people can take a break from unwind and undue pressure from job by working for a long time within three days. For instance, One who has a too much time after work, is able to share his time with family members to go to recreational centers like natural parks, zoo, and museum. He not only does is able to get a sense of satisfaction, but also he has too much energy for working in later days. He also could participate in other activities like sport and play an instrument like jazz and guitar to get away from hurly-burly and do some exercise energetically like doing dance. A further aspect which is worth to be mentioned here is that work in three days for long hours provided more opportunities to get a pat time job. In fact, employee is able to increase his income from working in a part-time job after finishing his work in office, since he has about four days to work in others economic sectors. A very tangible example to illustrate this argument is a person working for three days and has a part-time job in the restaurant. Working in the restaurant will pave the way to satisfy financial needs and improves economic condition and family in particular and community in general. All in all, taking into account all aforementioned factors we safely arrive at the conclusion that working in three days for long hours is preferable than working in five days for shorter hours because it provides more options for enjoy and it impoves our income. It is high time we stopped overlooking the fact that five days work is only way to succeed in our job.
Controversy exists over whether employees should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
three days a week for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
five days for shorter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. Whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hold the opinion that three days is beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, while other adhere five days a week is suitable.
However
, I would
rather
on the former point of view in that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does employee have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for entertainment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his economic condition by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in another part-time job.

The
first
aspect which is convincing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to favor the former point of view is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can take a break from unwind and undue pressure from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
within three days.
For instance
, One who has a too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, is able to share his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family members to go to recreational centers like natural parks, zoo, and museum. He not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a sense of satisfaction,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
he has too much energy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in later days. He
also
could participate in other activities like sport and play an instrument like jazz and guitar to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away from
Possible spelling mistake found.
hurly-burly
and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exercise
energetically
like doing dance.

A
further
aspect which is worth to
be mentioned
here is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in three days for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
provided more opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a pat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. In fact, employee is able to increase his income from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after finishing his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in office, since he has about four days to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in others economic sectors. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tangible example to illustrate this argument is a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for three days and has a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the restaurant.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
in the restaurant will pave the way to satisfy financial needs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
economic condition and family
in particular
and community
in general
.

All in all, taking into account all aforementioned factors we
safely
arrive at the conclusion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in three days for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is
Use "(preferable)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
preferable
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in five days for shorter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it provides more options for enjoy and it
Possible spelling mistake found.
impoves
our income. It is high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
overlooking the fact that five days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a only".
only
way to succeed in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
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IELTS essay three days work or five days

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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