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easier education of children by parents

easier education of children by parents BJQX9
Controversy exists over whether parents are involved in their children's education than they were in the past. whereas, some may hold the opinion that parents these days share their times more with children to teach them, others adhere an opposite directtion. However, I would rather vote on the later point of view in that not only does technology provide more facilities for education, but also there are very services for children in private centers or governments. The first factor which is convincing enough to favor the later point of view is that with advent of technology, education has changed in last decades. In fact, technology has penetrated into every corner and every minute of human' life. It is must be emphasized that significant role of technology in the case of education never be neglected, since it provides more and more materials and sources for children to be educated than past. A very tangible example to illustrate this argument could be the new advancements in the internet's services. Indeed, there are numerous web sites on the Intenet which a child by simple sereach and inputing some key words in the search ingine is addressed to various professional web sites in the education field. These web sites have numerous programs for education of children like software, application and suitable materials such as video, game and documentaries. Hence, there is no need to parents to be involved in children' education. A furether aspect which is worth to be mentioned here is that government and private organization have numerous progams for children. These educational centers provides a large number of services to children by presenting some up to date and relevant information teached by knowledgeable experts. Those experts teach children about novel tehniques of study, and they will pave the way for sparkling children' imagination. Take a child playing in a kinder garden as an example. He can be informed of a wide range of topics by teachers accurately. They make difficult concepts very easy to children to understand even better than his parents. So the only thing his parent need to do is just register his name in the kinder garen's programs. All in all, taking into account all aforementioned factorswe safely arrive at the conclusion children' education is more esier than past since there more services in both educational centers and websites in the Internet. It is high time we stopped the fact that the only way for education of children is involvement of parents.
Controversy exists over whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are involved
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
than they were in the past.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may hold the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
these days share their times more with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to teach them, others adhere an opposite
Possible spelling mistake found.
directtion
.
However
, I would
rather
vote on the later point of view in that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
provide more facilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in private centers or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.

The
first
factor which is convincing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to favor the later point of view is that with advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in last decades. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has penetrated into every corner and every minute of human' life. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be emphasized
that significant role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
never
be neglected
, since it provides more and more materials and sources for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
be educated
than past. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tangible example to illustrate this argument could be the new advancements in the internet's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
Indeed
, there are numerous
Did you mean "websites"?
web sites
on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Intenet
which a child by simple
Possible spelling mistake found.
sereach
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
inputing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "keywords"?
key words
in the search
Possible spelling mistake found.
ingine
is addressed
to various professional
Did you mean "websites"?
web sites
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
field. These
Did you mean "websites"?
web sites
have numerous programs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like software, application and suitable materials such as video, game and documentaries.
Hence
, there is no need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
be involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children'
education.

A
Possible spelling mistake found.
furether
aspect which is worth to
be mentioned
here is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and private organization have numerous
Possible spelling mistake found.
progams
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. These educational centers
You should probably use "provide".
provides
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by presenting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
up to date and relevant information
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "taught", the past tense form of the verb 'teach'?
teached
by knowledgeable experts. Those experts teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about novel
Possible spelling mistake found.
tehniques
of study, and they will pave the way for sparkling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children'
imagination. Take a child playing in a kinder garden as an example. He can
be informed
of a wide range of topics by teachers
accurately
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
difficult concepts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to understand even better than his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
need to do is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
register his name in the kinder
Possible spelling mistake found.
garen
's programs.

All in all, taking into account all aforementioned
Possible spelling mistake found.
factorswe
safely
arrive at the conclusion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is more
Possible spelling mistake found.
esier
than past since there more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in both educational centers and websites
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the Internet".
in the Internet
. It is high time we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
the fact that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is involvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
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IELTS essay easier education of children by parents

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
413 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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