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In some families, money reward is considered as a good way to encourage children to learn better.

In some families, money reward is considered as a good way to encourage children to learn better. WqNxa
Money is considered one of the valuable rewards when we do a certain achievement, but what about children's learning? In my opinion, I disagree with this view and will discuss it in the following paragraphs. First, Money to encourage children to study well. Parents also take money as a measure for each point 9, 10 and in the long run, children learn not by joy but by reward. Learning for children will become boring and the only goal for children to learn then is simply money and forgetting the meaning of learning. Second, the frequent use of money to make money will often make children psychologically place a heavy emphasis on money. Children will be very happy to learn if there is a reward, but it only works for a time, then they will be lazy because they think this amount is not enough and are willing to bargain the price when they are not satisfied. with the money that my parents gave me in the beginning. On the other hand, rewarding money to encourage children to learn can help children get used to money is also a way that many modern parents agree. Children will think quickly, know how to calculate, understand that when trying to do something, they will be able to receive rewards. It's also a lesson in real life. However, the use of money to encourage children to study well inadvertently creates children's dependence on money too soon. From there, it is easy to create a pragmatic habit when entering life. Rewards to encourage children to study well are also a good way to help children get more motivated to learn, but the reward does not have to be money. We can when your children have efforts in learning you can encourage them with spiritual gifts, or simply with a hug and praise from the family. Use the money to motivate your child, if you are not careful, you will lead your child in the wrong direction.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is considered
one of the valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rewards
when we do a certain achievement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what about children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
? In my opinion, I disagree with this view and will discuss it in the following paragraphs.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to study well. Parents
also
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as a measure for each point 9, 10 and in the long run,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
not by joy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will become boring and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
goal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
then is
simply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and forgetting the meaning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. Second, the frequent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
psychologically
place a heavy emphasis on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
if there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
works for a time, then they will be lazy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this amount is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and are willing to bargain the price when they are not satisfied.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
with
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that my parents gave me in the beginning.

On the other hand
, rewarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
also
a way that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modern parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
quickly
, know how to calculate, understand that when trying to do something, they will be able to receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rewards
. It's
also
a lesson in real life.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to study well
inadvertently
creates children's dependence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. From there, it is easy to create a pragmatic habit when entering life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rewards
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to study well are
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more motivated to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be money.

We can when your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have efforts in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
them with spiritual gifts, or
simply
with a hug and praise from the family.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to motivate your child, if you are not careful, you will lead your child in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
direction.
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IELTS essay In some families, money reward is considered as a good way to encourage children to learn better.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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