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Some people believe that professional sportsmen and women are paid too much money nowadays in relation to their usefulness to society. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professional sportsmen and women are paid too much money nowadays in relation to their usefulness to society. PLG6j
It is said that there is no need to pay a lot of money to male and female athletes. In my point of view, I completely disagree with this opinion due to two reasons. First of all, sportspeople dedicating their life to society reward a well-paid salary. They worked deeply hard to bring prestigious awards and honor to their country. The process is strongly severe: they have practiced arduously since pretty young; moreover, they must drop off to concentrate completely. Furthermore, it is seen that athletes have to face dangerous risks. They have suffered vulnerable injuries while competing and practicing with the aim of attaining gold medals. For example, Hung Dung- a well-known soccer player was injured formidably by an opponent and he has been cured for about a year. Doctors anticipate that in a couple of years, he will recover completely. During this time, he ceases to play soccer and maybe has no income. In addition, they not only bring honor but also give economic benefit to the country. Becoming renowned, there is a high likelihood that they receive more advertisement contracts and commerce product’s brands on TV or their social networks. Obviously, people admiring them splurge on these products and recommend them to other people. The more fans they have, the quicker products sell out. For instance, just about two months ago, the transfer market of soccer had a booming incident: Messi left Barcelona after 20 years, and then he has been working at Paris Saint Germain club. Immediately, there is a significant soar of brand name value at a million dollars. Besides, all of the souvenirs involving Messi such as the soccer uniform sold out in merely half an hour though the price of each is quite lavish. In conclusion, with enthusiastic dedication and the massive influence of sportsmen and women, they deserve to be paid a high salary.
It
is said
that there is no need to pay
a lot of
money to male and female athletes. In my point of view, I completely disagree with this opinion due to two reasons.

First of all
, sportspeople dedicating their life to society reward a well-paid salary. They worked
deeply
hard
to bring prestigious awards and honor to their country. The process is
strongly
severe: they have practiced
arduously
since pretty young;
moreover
, they
must
drop off to concentrate completely.
Furthermore
, it is
seen
that athletes
have to
face
dangerous
risks
. They have suffered vulnerable injuries while competing and practicing with the aim of attaining gold medals.
For example
, Hung Dung- a well-known soccer player
was injured
formidably
by an
opponent and
he has
been cured
for about a year. Doctors anticipate that in a couple of years, he will recover completely. During this time, he ceases to play soccer and maybe has no income.

In addition
, they not
only
bring honor
but
also
give economic benefit to the country. Becoming renowned, there is a high likelihood that they receive more advertisement contracts and commerce product’s brands on TV or their social networks.
Obviously
,
people
admiring them splurge on these products and recommend them to other
people
. The more fans they have, the quicker products sell out.
For instance
,
just
about two months ago, the transfer market of soccer had a booming incident: Messi
left
Barcelona after 20 years, and then he has been working at Paris Saint
Germain
club. Immediately, there is a significant soar of brand name value at a million dollars.
Besides
,
all of the
souvenirs involving Messi such as the soccer uniform sold out in
merely
half an hour though the price of each is quite lavish.

In conclusion
, with enthusiastic dedication and the massive influence of sportsmen and women, they deserve to
be paid
a high salary.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that professional sportsmen and women are paid too much money nowadays in relation to their usefulness to society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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