Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

These days, there are certain countries with a higher proportion of the young population than the elderly people. In my personal opinion, although such a situation has some merits for society, there are more merits that countries have with their youth population.

These days, there are certain countries with a higher proportion of the young population than the elderly people. In my personal opinion, although such a situation has some merits for society, there are more merits that countries have with their youth population. peNLd
These days, there are certain countries with a higher proportion of the young population than the elderly people. In my personal opinion, although such a situation has some merits for society, there are more merits that countries have with their youth population. On the one hand, if there are more young individuals in nation than old people, such situation can cause bad effect on cultural area. First and foremost, there are some possibility that traditional cultures will be displaced and lost. This is because most culture industries are taken lead by younger generations who normally do not consume and know about such traditional cultures. Therefore, traditional culture would be forgotten in the near future. On the other hand, A social phenomenon in which young people are more likely than older people have good influence on society. Firstly, the government can a great deal of collect taxes from younger citizens. The reason is that they are a producing and consuming population. To be explained, they mostly work hard in various industries and pay tax to the government. Furthermore, they can afford to purchase a lot since they can make enough money unlike elderly people who are already retired. Secondly, if many younger workers work hard the productivity in industries will increase and it will lead to economic growth in the nation. This is because most youth have physical strength and stamina so that they can work more productivity. Lastly, The overwhelming number of young people is beneficial for making social expenses like welfare. In explanation, the government would carry out policy which taking care of old citizen who are imcomeless and mobility difficulties. In conclusion, I believe that a larger number of young people than old people in a country is beneficial and propicial in many ways in spite of such a phenomenon having a negative influence on culture.
These days, there are certain countries with a higher proportion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
population than the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my personal opinion, although such a situation has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits for society, there are more merits that countries have with their youth population.

On the one hand, if there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individuals in nation than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, such situation can cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on cultural area.
First
and foremost, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possibility that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
will
be displaced
and lost. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
industries
are taken
lead by younger generations who
normally
do not consume and know about such traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
Therefore
, traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
would
be forgotten
in the near future.

On the other hand
, A social phenomenon in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely than older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
influence on society.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can a great deal of collect taxes from younger citizens. The reason is that they are a producing and consuming population. To be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
, they
mostly
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in various industries and pay tax to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Furthermore
, they can afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a lot since they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money unlike elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are already retired.
Secondly
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
younger workers work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
the productivity in industries will increase and it will lead to economic growth in the nation. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most youth have physical strength and stamina
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can work more productivity.
Lastly
, The overwhelming number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is beneficial for making social expenses like welfare. In explanation, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
would carry out policy which taking care of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
citizen who are
Possible spelling mistake found.
imcomeless
and mobility difficulties.

In conclusion
, I believe that a larger number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a country is beneficial and
Possible spelling mistake found.
propicial
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
such a phenomenon having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay These days, there are certain countries with a higher proportion of the young population than the elderly people. In my personal opinion, although such a situation has some merits for society, there are more merits that countries have with their youth population.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • These days, there are certain countries with a higher proportion of the young population than the elderly people. In my personal opinion, although such a situation has some merits for society, there are more merits that countries have with their youth population.