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These days the divorce rate is higher than ever before. What are the reasons for this? How to improve the situation?

These days the divorce rate is higher than ever before. What are the reasons for this? How to improve the situation? E3drB
Currently, more families are breaking up than in the past. In fact, there are several reasons why this is happening. Although this matter is serious, it can be solved in many ways. The following essay will present the contributors to this occasion and provide appropriate solutions On the one hand, there are some factors that lead to this phenomenon. The initial reason is that now majority do not live in joint families. They reside in nuclear families where there are no parents and grandparents who are able to teach them how to maintain and appreciate relationships. For example, I play football. Secondly, today’s life is very stressful and demanding, so the young are physically, mentally and spiritually tired. As a result, they accept a tiny family problem as a big issue and hurry to break relations rather than fight against problems. For instance, I go home. Besides that, differences in thinking, behaviour and interests are so influential that they are able to make couples indifferent to each other. One more reason is that families without children are easily distracted because couples do not feel any connection towards each other. For example, I do homework. On the other hand, there are majority actions that can be taken to improve the phenomenon. Firstly, the number of psychologists should be increased so that the population can obtain more patience and motivation to tackle with problems. For case, I play chess. Secondly, it would be better if people were encouraged to live in joint families in which family relations are overvalued. For instance, I go home. Moreover, young couples are demanding to know their perspective, behaviour and interests before marriage. Finally, the government is required to set up the fixed age for marriage so that youngsters will be mentally, physically and of course psychologically ready. As long as people and the government cooperate, the divorce rate will decrease. For the case, I have a pen. In conclusion, the number of divorced people is at an alarming rate nowadays. However, this issue can be cured if the suggestions above are taken into account.
Currently
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are breaking up than in the past. In fact, there are several reasons why this is happening. Although this matter is serious, it can
be solved
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. The following essay will present the contributors to this occasion and provide appropriate solutions

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors that lead to this phenomenon. The initial reason is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
majority do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. They reside in nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
where there are no parents and grandparents who are able to teach them how to maintain and appreciate relationships.
For example
, I play football.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
stressful and demanding,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the young are
physically
, mentally and
spiritually
tired.
As a result
, they accept a tiny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
problem as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue and hurry to break relations
rather
than fight against problems.
For instance
, I go home.
Besides
that, differences in thinking,
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and interests are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
influential that they are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
couples indifferent to each other. One more reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
without children are
easily
distracted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
couples do not feel any connection towards each other.
For example
, I do homework.

On the other hand
, there are majority actions that can
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the phenomenon.
Firstly
, the number of psychologists should
be increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the population can obtain more patience and motivation to tackle with problems. For case, I play chess.
Secondly
, it would be better if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relations
are overvalued
.
For instance
, I go home.
Moreover
, young couples are demanding to know their perspective,
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and interests
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
marriage.
Finally
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is required
to set up the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
age for marriage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that youngsters will be mentally,
physically
and
of course
psychologically
ready. As long as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
cooperate, the divorce rate will decrease. For the case, I have a pen.

In conclusion
, the number of divorced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
at an alarming rate nowadays.
However
, this issue can
be cured
if the suggestions above
are taken
into account.
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IELTS essay These days the divorce rate is higher than ever before. What are the reasons for this? How to improve the situation?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
348 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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