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These days some people are leaving rural areas to live in cities.Discuss some of the reasons of this kind of migration and the effects of this kind of migration

These days some people are leaving rural areas to live in cities. Discuss some of the reasons of this kind of migration and the effects of this kind of migration ebYJV
In this contemporary era, plethora of individuals are moving to metropolitan cities. This essay will scrutinize the causes as well as impacts of this migration of masses in ensuing fragments. To commence with the discussion, there are myriad of reasons why human beings are preferring cities. First and foremost os cities provide many amenities to masses such as education, transportation, gym, entertainment as well. however which is not possible in rural areas. Not only this, hospital services also available in cities whereas due to the lack of medical services many people lost their life in villages. Morover pupils can get study better in cities as compared to villages which will further help them to get lucrative jobs. Apart from this, some people want to life in cities to life extra ordinary life. Moving towards the results of this vogue on society, firstly due to the overpopulation in cities unemployment is incling which further give birth to crime as some people can not feed their family because they don't get job this they get no other choice but to commit crime. Furthermore it leads to deforestation because they need shelter to life to get home they may clear trees. To conclude, it can reiterated that in the modern world people migrate to move different different big towns in the search of greener pasture. While the negative impact of this trend can not be neglected.
In this contemporary era, plethora of individuals are moving to metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This essay will scrutinize the causes
as well
as impacts of this migration of masses in ensuing fragments. To commence with the discussion, there are myriad of reasons why human beings
The verb 'preferring' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are preferring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
First
and foremost
Possible spelling mistake found.
os
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
amenities to masses such as education, transportation, gym, entertainment
as well
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
however
which is not possible in rural areas. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this, hospital services
also
available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
whereas due to the lack of medical services
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lost their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
in villages.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morover
pupils can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
study better in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
as compared to villages which will
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lucrative jobs. Apart from this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Moving towards the results of this vogue on society,
firstly
due to the overpopulation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
unemployment is
Possible spelling mistake found.
incling
which
further
give birth to crime as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not feed their family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job this they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
no other choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to commit crime.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
it leads to deforestation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need shelter to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
home they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
trees.
To conclude
, it can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "reiterate"
reiterated
that in the modern world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
towns in the search of greener pasture.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of this trend can not
be neglected
.
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IELTS essay These days some people are leaving rural areas to live in cities. Discuss some of the reasons of this kind of migration and the effects of this kind of migration

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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