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These days people enjoy a lot of time away from their work and school obligations Many people use this time to visit new places and learn about them What do you think is the best way to learn about a place you are visiting for the first time Going to a mu v.1

These days people enjoy a lot of time away from their work and school obligations Many people use this time to visit new places and learn about them What do you think is the best way to learn about a place you are visiting for the first time Going to a mu v. 1
Television has become a common source of education nowadays. Some people argue that television can teach students efficiently and it should be promoted to watch at home and at school. In my opinion, I agree that it is a very good mode of learning. However, it also has negative effects such as promoting violence. There are many ways of learning and TV is recently making its way up the list. Students can learn a variety of things from it. There are so many informative shows on electronic media on science, arts and other important courses that present these in a very distinctive and easy method. A recent study conducted at Harvard University proved that students who watch TV for an hour everyday do well at the end of the year exams. Therefore, television plays an important role in teaching students. On the other hand, it also has some dangerous outcomes. There are tons of thousands of channels which show different material all around the clock. There are some shows which display violence and children tend to learn those and enact later at home and at school. For example, a student in Miami, Florida brought his father's gun and opened fire in the classroom in an attempt to copy the scene from one of the movie. Hence, parents should monitor that what their child is watching. In conclusion, there is a debate that television is an effective method of teaching and should be recommended at home and at school. In my opinion, I agree that although it is a very productive way of spreading knowledge, it also has fatalistic side and parents should keep an eye on child's choice of programs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
has become a common source of education nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
efficiently
and it should
be promoted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
at home and at school. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mode of learning.
However
, it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects such as promoting violence.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways of learning and TV is recently making its way up the list.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can learn a variety of things from it. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
informative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
on electronic media on science, arts and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
courses that present these in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
distinctive and easy method. A recent study conducted at Harvard University proved that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV for an hour
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
do well at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year exams.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in teaching students.

On the other hand
, it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
outcomes. There are tons of thousands of channels which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
material all around the clock. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
which display violence and children tend to learn those and enact later at home and at school.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in Miami, Florida brought his father's gun and opened fire in the classroom in an attempt to copy the scene from one of the movie.
Hence
, parents should monitor that what their child is watching.

In conclusion
, there is a debate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is an effective method of teaching and should
be recommended
at home and at school. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that although it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
productive way of spreading knowledge, it
also
has fatalistic side and parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on child's choice of programs.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay These days people enjoy a lot of time away from their work and school obligations Many people use this time to visit new places and learn about them What do you think is the best way to learn about a place you are visiting for the first time Going to a mu v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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