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These days most of the people believe that working for their own company is more beneficial as compare to working for any other company or industry

These days most of the people believe that working for their own company is more beneficial as compare to working for any other company or industry BgWJ6
These days most of the people believe that working for their own company is more beneficial as compare to working for any other company or industry. One of the important reason behind this having desire of high wages as well as getting a suitable work environment according to their own choice. One of the major challenges are lack of human resources in the famous industries. Firstly, Let we talk about the most important reason behind choose to be self-employed. These days people do not want to work under any other company. Because of, strict rules and regulations, such jobs have been avoided by most of the people. In addition, due to rapid growth of globalization and urban areas, it has been found that massive demand of high salaries among people. For example, it has been observed that, in Europe rejection of many jobs by people due to fact of low wages. Also, being as self-employed chances of achieving of your life's goal are higher. On the other hand, there are various disadvantages of being self-employed. It has been seen that, the lack of human resources in the major industries. It would not possible to grow of any business without manpower. More ever, the economic growth of any country can be affected by lacking of more employees. For example, it has been found that, in the USA and Canada, because of the lack of manpower, shifted their manufacturing industries to India and China. Thus, to conclude no doubt there are some certain positive outcomes as choose to be self-employed but as a nation's prospective there are many major losses also. Being as a self-employed, improves personal's life. On the contrary, working with a organisation helps to build a country's economy.
These days most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that working for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is more beneficial as compare to working for any other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or industry. One of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason behind this having desire of high wages
as well
as getting a suitable work environment according to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice. One of the major challenges are lack of human resources in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
industries.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
we talk about the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason behind choose to be self-employed. These days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not want to work under any other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of, strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations, such jobs have
been avoided
by most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
, due to rapid growth of globalization and urban areas, it has
been found
that massive demand of high salaries among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, it has
been observed
that, in Europe rejection of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to fact of low wages.
Also
, being as self-employed chances of achieving of your life's goal are higher.

On the other hand
, there are various disadvantages of being self-employed. It has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, the lack of human resources in the major industries. It
The word 'possible' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
would not possible
to grow of any business without manpower. More ever, the economic growth of any country can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by lacking of more employees.
For example
, it has
been found
that, in the USA and Canada,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of manpower, shifted their manufacturing industries to India and China.

Thus
,
to conclude
no doubt there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes as choose to be self-employed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as a nation's prospective there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
major losses
also
. Being as a self-employed,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
personal's life.
On the contrary
, working with
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to build a country's economy.
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IELTS essay These days most of the people believe that working for their own company is more beneficial as compare to working for any other company or industry

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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