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Nowadays many individuals of different nations prefer to wear modern apparel like jeans and suits rather than their native attire, however there is a small proportion of public who favor the latter option. The reason behind this choice could be globalization. In my opinion, this essay will highlight the benefits for the population along with this; it also highlights the adverse impact. To begin with, there could be many advantages that can be available to the population when they opt to wear western clothes. Firstly, they are easy to carry and does not made the life of the individual miserable, they can do any activity by wearing these apparels like studying, playing etc. Secondly person can buy these products at a cheaper price because of cut throat competitions between the big fashion houses. Furthermore, it helps in strengthening the economy the nation by providing the required impetus to their clothing sector which will help in earning a huge sum of revenue. In contrast, tradition

Nowadays many individuals of different nations prefer to wear modern apparel like jeans and suits rather than their native attire, however there is a small proportion of public who favor the latter option. The reason behind this choice could be globalization. In my opinion, this essay will highlight the benefits for the population along with this; it also highlights the adverse impact. To begin with, there could be many advantages that can be available to the population when they opt to wear western clothes. Firstly, they are easy to carry and does not made the life of the individual miserable, they can do any activity by wearing these apparels like studying, playing etc. Secondly person can buy these products at a cheaper price because of cut throat competitions between the big fashion houses. Furthermore, it helps in strengthening the economy the nation by providing the required impetus to their clothing sector which will help in earning a huge sum of revenue. In contrast, tradition OyEMG
Nowadays many individuals of different nations prefer to wear modern apparel like jeans and suits rather than their native attire, however there is a small proportion of public who favor the latter option. The reason behind this choice could be globalization. In my opinion, this essay will highlight the benefits for the population along with this; it also highlights the adverse impact. To begin with, there could be many advantages that can be available to the population when they opt to wear western clothes. Firstly, they are easy to carry and does not made the life of the individual miserable, they can do any activity by wearing these apparels like studying, playing etc. Secondly person can buy these products at a cheaper price because of cut throat competitions between the big fashion houses. Furthermore, it helps in strengthening the economy the nation by providing the required impetus to their clothing sector which will help in earning a huge sum of revenue. In contrast, traditional garments represent the cultural values of one particular state if people abandon this then they are abandoning their own culture and giving the message that they are ashamed of it. Moreover it represents the sense of unity among public, it is considered as the sense of identity. These clothes are usually worn to celebrate some occasion or some festivals and if individual does not prefer it during these special days then it is depicted that they not want to celebrate this auspicious hour. Overall to sum up, I suggest that individuals should be given the choice to choose the most suitable attire for themselves, but during this they should not just leave their traditional attire, if this happens then the public will lose their sense of identity and will be separated from their cultures as well
Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations prefer to wear modern apparel like jeans and suits
rather
than their native attire,
however
there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
proportion of public who favor the latter option. The reason behind this choice could be globalization. In my opinion, this essay will highlight the benefits for the population along with this; it
also
highlights the adverse impact.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages that can be available to the population when they opt to wear western clothes.
Firstly
, they are easy to carry and does not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "make"?
made
the life of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
miserable, they can do any activity by wearing these apparels like studying, playing etc.
Secondly
person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these products at a cheaper price
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
'cut throat' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "cut-throat".
cut throat
competitions between the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
fashion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
Furthermore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in strengthening the economy the nation by providing the required impetus to their clothing sector which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in earning a huge sum of revenue.

In contrast
, traditional garments represent the cultural values of one particular state if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
abandon this then they are abandoning their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture and giving the message that they
are ashamed
of it.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
it represents the sense of unity among public, it
is considered
as the sense of identity. These clothes are
usually
worn to celebrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
occasion or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
festivals and if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
does not prefer it during these special days then it
is depicted
that they not want to celebrate this auspicious hour.

Overall
to sum up, I suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the choice to choose the most suitable attire for themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
during this they should not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their traditional attire, if this happens then the public will lose their sense of identity and will
be separated
from their cultures
as well
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IELTS essay Nowadays many individuals of different nations prefer to wear modern apparel like jeans and suits rather than their native attire, however there is a small proportion of public who favor the latter option. The reason behind this choice could be globalization. In my opinion, this essay will highlight the benefits for the population along with this; it also highlights the adverse impact. To begin with, there could be many advantages that can be available to the population when they opt to wear western clothes. Firstly, they are easy to carry and does not made the life of the individual miserable, they can do any activity by wearing these apparels like studying, playing etc. Secondly person can buy these products at a cheaper price because of cut throat competitions between the big fashion houses. Furthermore, it helps in strengthening the economy the nation by providing the required impetus to their clothing sector which will help in earning a huge sum of revenue. In contrast, tradition

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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