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These days many people are using credit cards or loans to get very big personal debts that they may be unable to repay. Therefore, it should be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money.

These days many people are using credit cards or loans to get very big personal debts that they may be unable to repay. Therefore, it should be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money. 6xLMr
These days many people are using credit cards or loans to get very big personal debts that most of the time they are unable to repay. Therefore, it should be made more difficult for people to borrow large amounts of money. Every person who became his own individual, meaning he starts living on his own and creates a family, most of the time does not want to live for rent. But a young adult in his 20's does do not have enough money to be able to buy his own flat. From here, they use big loans to buy their dream home. Although it cannot be denied that the person often can not repay those debts because of the end of his life. And then his heirs need to repay the rest. This unsolicited debt makes their lives difficult because just as they do not have enough money for themselves, so at the same time they do not have the opportunity to buy their dream home or car and have to live more difficult, often barely connecting the two ends. One way to prevent this transference from one generation to another is some rules on borrowing hefty amounts to be made. Moreover, easy borrowing also encourages materialism in society by expanding one’s purchasing power. People tend to use their credit cards or personal loans for unnecessary shopping just to satisfy themselves and later feel troubled in repaying the amount. Therefore, the concerned authorities must tighten the money lending procedure by revising the terms. To conclude, I would say that facilities offered by banks are very helpful to people. But, adequate measures are needed to avoid their misuse.
These days
many
people
are using credit cards or loans to
get
very
big
personal debts that most of the time they are unable to repay.
Therefore
, it should
be made
more difficult for
people
to borrow large amounts of money.

Every person who became his
own
individual, meaning he
starts
living on his
own
and creates a family, most of the time does not want to
live
for rent.
But
a young adult in his
20's
does do not have
enough
money to be able to
buy
his
own
flat. From here, they
use
big
loans to
buy
their dream home.
Although
it cannot
be denied
that the person
often
can not repay those debts
because
of the
end
of his life. And then his heirs need to repay the rest. This unsolicited debt
makes
their
lives
difficult
because
just
as they do not have
enough
money for themselves,
so
at the same time they do not have the opportunity to
buy
their dream home or car and
have to
live
more difficult,
often
barely
connecting the two ends.

One way to
prevent
this transference from one generation to another is
some
rules
on borrowing hefty amounts to
be made
.
Moreover
, easy borrowing
also
encourages materialism in society by expanding one’s purchasing power.
People
tend to
use
their credit cards or personal loans for unnecessary shopping
just
to satisfy themselves and later feel troubled in repaying the amount.
Therefore
, the concerned authorities
must
tighten the money lending procedure by revising the terms.

To conclude
, I would say that facilities offered by banks are
very
helpful to
people
.
But
, adequate measures
are needed
to avoid their misuse.
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IELTS essay These days many people are using credit cards or loans to get very big personal debts that they may be unable to repay. Therefore, it should be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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