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There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides

Nowadays, the rate of critical crimes has been increasingly becoming common. Although some people believe that people who commit such serious crimes have to die to be a deterrent action, others see that we can figure out another punishment. On the one hand, some people argue that the result of serious crimes has to be death. This might be important because such a decision can make people afraid of committing any crime, such as killing a person or children abduction. For example, if anyone finds that his/her life can be in danger when they intend such crimes, they will respect the law. Thus, the rate of these problems that each country is facing might be fail, leading to safety will be the common theme of society. On the other hand, some stand with a view that governments should take different measurements to secure the community from any potential crimes. For instance, criminals can be taught codes of conduct that can shape the fabric of society. It is not fair that people die because of the lack of awareness. Thus, authorities ought to make some programs to equip them to avoid any potential action that may harm people. As a result, instead of the high percentage of these crimes, there will be a sense of respect for the other, and more safety the citizen will live. In conclusion, while it is not acceptable for some to forgive those who were committing critical crimes, it seems that other ways may have a bright side to the whole society.
Nowadays, the rate of critical
crimes
has been
increasingly
becoming common. Although
some
people
believe that
people
who commit such serious
crimes
have to
die
to be a deterrent action, others
see
that we can figure out another punishment.

On the one hand,
some
people
argue that the result of serious
crimes
has to
be death. This might be
important
because
such a decision can
make
people
afraid of committing any
crime
, such as killing a person or children abduction.
For example
, if anyone finds that his/her life can be in
danger
when they intend such
crimes
, they will respect the law.
Thus
, the rate of these problems that each country is facing might be fail, leading to safety will be the common theme of society.

On the
other
hand,
some
stand with a view that
governments
should take
different
measurements to secure the community from any potential
crimes
.
For instance
, criminals can
be taught
codes of conduct that can shape the fabric of society. It is not
fair
that
people
die
because
of the lack of awareness.
Thus
, authorities ought to
make
some
programs to equip them to avoid any potential action that may harm
people
.
As a result
,
instead
of the high percentage of these
crimes
, there will be a sense of respect for the
other
, and more safety the citizen will
live
.

In conclusion
, while it is not acceptable for
some
to forgive those who were committing critical
crimes
, it seems that
other
ways may have a bright side to the whole society.
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IELTS essay There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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