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There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides

Nowadays, the rate of critical crimes has been increasingly becoming common. Although some people believe that people who commit such serious crimes have to die to be a deterrent action, others see that we can figure out another punishment. On the one hand, some people argue that the result of serious crimes has to be death. This might be important because such a decision can make people afraid of committing any crime, such as killing a person or children abduction. For example, if anyone finds that his/her life can be in danger when they intend such crimes, they will respect the law. Thus, the rate of these problems that each country is facing might be fail, leading to safety will be the common theme of society. On the other hand, some stand with a view that governments should take different measurements to secure the community from any potential crimes. For instance, criminals can be taught codes of conduct that can shape the fabric of society. It is not fair that people die because of the lack of awareness. Thus, authorities ought to make some programs to equip them to avoid any potential action that may harm people. As a result, instead of the high percentage of these crimes, there will be a sense of respect for the other, and more safety the citizen will live. In conclusion, while it is not acceptable for some to forgive those who were committing critical crimes, it seems that other ways may have a bright side to the whole society.
Nowadays, the rate of critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
has been
increasingly
becoming common. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who commit such serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
to be a deterrent action, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that we can figure out another punishment.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the result of serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be death. This might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such a decision can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
afraid of committing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, such as killing a person or children abduction.
For example
, if anyone finds that his/her life can be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
when they intend such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, they will respect the law.
Thus
, the rate of these problems that each country is facing might be fail, leading to safety will be the common theme of society.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stand with a view that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
measurements to secure the community from any potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
For instance
, criminals can
be taught
codes of conduct that can shape the fabric of society. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of awareness.
Thus
, authorities ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
programs to equip them to avoid any potential action that may harm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
As a result
,
instead
of the high percentage of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, there will be a sense of respect for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, and more safety the citizen will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

In conclusion
, while it is not acceptable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
to forgive those who were committing critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways may have a bright side to the whole society.
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IELTS essay There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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