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There is no denying the fact that money plays a crucial role in our lives. Children are too young to...

There is no denying the fact that money plays a crucial role in our lives. Children are too young to. . . m8BBn
It is believed by most parents that teaching the importance of money to children at a young age is necessary. I completely agree with that view and will give my opinion in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, most kids today often do not understand the value of money. This often comes from their families, some parents think that children are too young to understand about money, or some are too busy to teach them. Thus, children will tend to be wasteful, looking down on some things or some kind of people. For instance, most children immediately want a toy or food as soon as they see it and they throw angry if their desire is not fulfilled. They do not care if the parents have the resources to buy them what they want, in some cases when they are not met by their parents, it also leads to negative actions. It is necessary to teach they know how much hard work goes into earning each penny. Only then they would appreciate the things which they have. On the other hand, children also need to be taught the wisdom of handling money. Therefore, they will not be deceived by bad intentions, nor will they suffer financial crisis in their adulthood. Families need to teach them how to save and manage money well. For example, parents should assign household chores to their children and reward them when finished. Hence, kids will respect what they do, work harder and try to save. Just like that, in the future they will become independent people and often wise against bad temptations. To summarize, it is essential to teach children about the value of money from an early age. That brings so many good benefits to their future.
It
is believed
by most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
that teaching the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at a young age is necessary. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that view and will give my opinion in the following paragraphs.

On the one hand, most kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
do not understand the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from their families,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are too young to understand about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are too busy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will tend to be wasteful, looking down on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For instance
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
immediately want a toy or food as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they throw angry if their desire is not fulfilled. They do not care if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have the resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them what they want, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases when they are not met by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, it
also
leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
actions. It is necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
they know how much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work goes into earning each penny.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
then they would appreciate the things which they have.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
also
need to
be taught
the wisdom of handling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Therefore
, they will not
be deceived
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
intentions, nor will they suffer financial crisis in their adulthood. Families need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them how to save and manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
well.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should assign household chores to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and reward them when finished.
Hence
, kids will respect what they do, work harder and try to save.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
like that, in the future they will become independent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
wise against
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
temptations.

To summarize
, it is essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from an early age. That brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
benefits to their future.
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IELTS essay There is no denying the fact that money plays a crucial role in our lives. Children are too young to. . .

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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