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Some people say emotional health is better than physical health. To what extend do you agree

Some people say emotional health is better than physical health. To what extend do you agree m8BGn
The wellbeing of people has been since been argued that it is better to be emotionally fit than physical wellness. It is debatable over the years by some people that emotional health fit is of a better choice to physical. i strongly disagree with this essay and my reasons are, emotional wellbeing can mostly be achieved by a physical state of the body. Moreover physical fitness makes us not only emotional healthy but the fitness of the entire self. To begin with, emotional health is mostly achieved by the physical wellbeing. When the body is devoid of any health condition, it is fit and people are able to meet their targets in life. Just like a patient I saw last week in the consulting room who was a musician and very energetic but had an accident that led to surgery and resulted in amputation. Ever since he has been down with one sickness to the other. This ened up with depression and he is currently on antidepressants. Secondly, healthy body makes the other organs medically stable. The patient with one sickness ends up in the hospital and because it is just a low blood pressure he has become depressed, anxious leading to obsession. Example is a bstoke patient is happy and able to walk without support. To conclude, it is argued that emotional health is better than physical fitness and I strongly disagree due to the following two reasons, one needs to be physically stable to have a sound mind. also physical stability will enhance the general health of the person. The two health types in human are all needed and government is advised to encourage all these.
The
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wellbeing
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
has been since
been argued
that it is better to be
emotionally
fit than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
wellness. It is debatable over the years by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
fit is of a better choice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
disagree with this essay and my reasons are,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
can
mostly
be achieved
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
state of the body.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the fitness of the entire self. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is
mostly
achieved by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
. When the body is devoid of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition, it
is fit
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their targets in life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
like a patient I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
last week in the consulting room who was a musician and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
energetic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
had an accident that led to surgery and resulted in amputation. Ever since he has been down with one sickness to the other. This
Possible spelling mistake found.
ened
up with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
depression and
he is
currently
on antidepressants.
Secondly
, healthy body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the other organs
medically
stable. The patient with one sickness ends up in the hospital and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a low blood pressure he has become depressed, anxious leading to obsession. Example is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
bstoke
patient is happy and able to walk without support.
To conclude
, it
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness and I
strongly
disagree due to the following two reasons, one needs to be
physically
stable to have a sound mind.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
stability will enhance the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the person. The two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
types in human are all needed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is advised
to encourage all these.
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IELTS essay Some people say emotional health is better than physical health. To what extend do you agree

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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