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There is more and more violence in movies and on TV, therefore it is necessary for the government to control the amount of it to decrease the violent crimes in the society. Do you agree or disagree?

There is more and more violence in movies and on TV, therefore it is necessary for the government to control the amount of it to decrease the violent crimes in the society. oyKb
It is true that many movies and television programs have more crime and violence related scenes. Some people say this is the main reason for increasing anti-social activities in society. Therefore, these type of films should be strictly regulated by government bodies. I completely agree with the statement. Films, Dramas and TV programs have many impacts on the young brain. Most of the young people spend their time in front of screen devices to watch these. So, it is easy to learn these bad habits, violent behaviours and anti-social activities through the film. In addition, some good people also want to give it a try or want to pretend the same scene in their real life. A recent survey in the US clearly indicates the relationship between violent behaviour and the influence of the films watching by them. For, example many educated crowds turn to be robbers after watching the Money Heist web series only. So it is a proven fact, that giving too much prominence to crime scenes makes the community sick and addicted. Some people argue about the necessity of these scenes to express the actual message to the viewers. But this is not always true. Because, when there is no restriction people produce what they want; they pay unnecessary focus to anti-social behaviours. interestingly, movies are produced for the purpose of entertainment and they are not produced to train thieves, smugglers and murders. Therefore the segments which are carrying these sort of messages in details are not necessary and should be removed from the film before the telecast or show. This nature of strict monitoring would be helpful to identify and remove the unwanted violence segments from the films and teledramas. Many developed countries have their own regulatory bodies for such purposes is a good example to follow. In conclusion, To limit the growing violent behaviour among the public, film and movies which are promoting these type of behaviours should be regulated and monitored by governments to improve the quality of films.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
movies and television programs have more crime and violence related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say this is the main reason for increasing anti-social activities in society.
Therefore
, these type of films should be
strictly
regulated by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
bodies. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement.

Films, Dramas and TV programs have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
impacts on the young brain. Most of the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend their time in front of screen devices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
these.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is easy to learn these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits, violent
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and anti-social activities through the film.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
want to give it a try or want to pretend the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scene
in their real life. A recent survey in the US
clearly
indicates the relationship between violent
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and the influence of the films watching by them. For, example
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educated crowds turn to be robbers after watching the Money Heist web series
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is a proven fact, that giving too much prominence to crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the community sick and addicted.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue about the necessity of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
to express the actual message to the viewers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this is not always true.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, when there is no restriction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
produce what they want; they pay unnecessary focus to anti-social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
interestingly
, movies
are produced
for the purpose of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
entertainment and
they are not produced to train thieves, smugglers and murders.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the segments which are carrying
Did you mean "this sort" or "these sorts"?
these sort
of messages in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
are not necessary and should
be removed
from the film
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the telecast or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
. This nature of strict monitoring would be helpful to identify and remove the unwanted violence segments from the films and
Possible spelling mistake found.
teledramas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
regulatory bodies for such purposes is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example to follow.

In conclusion
, To limit the growing violent
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
among the public, film and movies which are promoting these type of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
should
be regulated
and monitored by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of films.
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IELTS essay There is more and more violence in movies and on TV, therefore it is necessary for the government to control the amount of it to decrease the violent crimes in the society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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