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the only way to improve roads safety is to give much stricter punishments to driving offenses. to what extend do you agree or disagree ?

the only way to improve roads safety is to give much stricter punishments to driving offenses. Gyxo
Some people consider sever restriction on offender drivers’ penalty as the last shelter due to make roads safer. While there are uncountable benefits toward expansion of punishing offenders in driving roughly, both society and drivers would possibly face a number of obstacles. Neglect drivers can be encountered as very fundamental constructional principals in police facilities enhancing. While they are passing a red light or over taking another racing car (considering its dander), as high as police fine them financial sources for them are easily provided which is practical owing to stop or detecting them earlier onwards. in addition, while people have a second though after once harsh punishment, they will turn to less willing potential offenders than ever before. A clear example of this is the case of renewed obligations which led multiple times bigger payment in case of un-fastened seatbelt (which was priory mentioned as the first rate fatal common driving mistake playing a role in more than 90% of accidents) that unpredictably within 15 days of announcement overally disappeared in our country. Opposed to what mentioned above, lower class car drivers who are not obviously capable of commit a big deal of police punishment might be forced to run away from the police alert and this would never end up without an extreme damage to either police or the driver and other around the roads. Another remarkable danger is young offender arrested by police. Sending an adult driver below 25 who just sped over the limit and have to be send to the jail will absolutely establish the next mighty criminal generation due to his presence in such atmosphere. To conclude, although stating stricter rules for punishing disobedient drivers is undoubtedly is a milestone to climax roads surveillance, might put the society in considerable danger though.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider sever restriction on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers’
penalty as the last shelter due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
roads safer. While there are uncountable benefits toward expansion of punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
in driving roughly, both society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
would
possibly
face a number of obstacles.

Neglect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
can
be encountered
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fundamental constructional principals in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
facilities enhancing. While they are passing a red light or over taking another racing car (considering its dander), as high as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
fine them financial sources for them are
easily
provided which is practical owing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
or detecting them earlier onwards.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a second though after once harsh punishment, they will turn to less willing potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example of this is the case of renewed obligations which led multiple times bigger payment in case of
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-fastened
seatbelt (which was priory mentioned as the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
first rate
fatal common driving mistake playing a role in more than 90% of accidents) that
unpredictably
within 15 days of announcement
Possible spelling mistake found.
overally
disappeared in our country.

Opposed to what mentioned above, lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
who are not
obviously
capable of commit a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
punishment might
be forced
to run away from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
alert and this would never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up without
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "extreme damage".
an extreme damage
to either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
and other around the roads. Another remarkable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
is young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offender
arrested by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
. Sending an adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
below 25 who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sped over the limit and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
Consider using a past participle here: "sent".
send
to the jail will
absolutely
establish the
next
mighty criminal generation due to his presence in such atmosphere.

To conclude
, although stating stricter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for punishing disobedient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
is
undoubtedly
is a milestone to climax roads surveillance, might put the society in considerable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
though.
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IELTS essay the only way to improve roads safety is to give much stricter punishments to driving offenses.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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