Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

there is homeless people in many countries . It is believed that the most clever way to increase their life is to provide them with financial aid. I disagree this concept with some exceptions

there is homeless people in many countries. It is believed that the most clever way to increase their life is to provide them with financial aid. I disagree this concept with some exceptions q18Y5
On the one hand, there are several reasons of homeless. Firstly, at present era one of the major problem unemployment degree. Many young people after their study, when they finish school or college, cannot find a well- paid job and they haven't got a chance to buy new house or rent. For example, some governments in the world cannot provide its own citizens with work. Secondly, another main cause of people without a home is invalidity and loss of ability to work. I think, direction organizations should spare enough money for rent and consumption for the disabled. On the other hand, if the governments give money to every homeless people, despite of that person is able to work or not, this can be bad effect for society. Consequently, this case originates aimless and laziness. Therefore, it should be invested money for their qualification and to improve their educational level. Certainly quality and experiensed people can earn money and anhance their own financial status. This is the best solution for helping to such kind of people. In addition, current decades technologies are developing and being difficult to learn. Some workers cannot understand modern equipments so lost their job and join to homeless people. For avoidance this process is considered employees' qualification In conclusion, help should be given according to their status. Government should make workplace for homeless people.
On the one hand, there are several reasons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
.
Firstly
, at present era one of the major problem unemployment degree.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
after their study, when they finish school or college, cannot find a well- paid
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
job and
they haven't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or rent.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
in the world cannot provide its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
citizens with work.
Secondly
, another main cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without a home is invalidity and loss of ability to work. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, direction organizations should spare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for rent and consumption for the disabled.

On the other hand
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
that person is able to work or not, this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect for society.
Consequently
, this case originates aimless and laziness.
Therefore
, it should
be invested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their qualification and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their educational level.
Certainly
quality and
Possible spelling mistake found.
experiensed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
anhance
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
financial status. This is the best solution for helping to such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
decades technologies are developing and being difficult to learn.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
workers cannot understand modern equipments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lost their job and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For avoidance this process
is considered
employees' qualification

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
according to their status.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
workplace for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay there is homeless people in many countries. It is believed that the most clever way to increase their life is to provide them with financial aid. I disagree this concept with some exceptions

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts