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There is an alarming issue that many people are addicted to the internet seriously. What are the causes of this matter?

There is an alarming issue that many people are addicted to the internet seriously. What are the causes of this matter? q0Dkd
In modern society, the use of the internet is becoming a serious problem because people have become addicted and spend too much time on it. In this essay, three main reasons for this problem will be discussed below. First, everyone's internet addiction stems from its abundance. The internet not only contains a lot of hot information about entertainment, society, movies or music, but it also has famous social networking sites like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter that attract a lot of people. and use. According to worldwide statistics, there are now 4. 5 billion internet users while social media users have passed the 3. 8 billion mark. When people use the internet, they lose their sense of time, get to caught up in what they're seeing in front of them.
In modern society, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet is becoming a serious problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have become addicted and spend too much time on it. In this essay, three main reasons for this problem will
be discussed
below.
First
, everyone's internet addiction stems from its abundance. The internet not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
hot information about entertainment, society, movies or music,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
social networking sites like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter that attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. According to worldwide statistics, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
4. 5 billion internet users while social media users have passed the 3. 8 billion mark. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet, they lose their sense of time,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to caught up in what they're seeing in front of them.
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IELTS essay There is an alarming issue that many people are addicted to the internet seriously. What are the causes of this matter?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
128 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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