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There are tens of new means of communication based on recent technological innovations that make us able to be more socially active.

There are tens of new means of communication based on recent technological innovations that make us able to be more socially active. d2Xr
There are tens of new means of communication based on recent technological innovations that make us able to be more socially active. Some would say that technologies like internet has resulted in easier telecommunication, and so we have more socialized society. Others, which I’m in favour of them, say that modernity has caused people to be more lonely, and despite of more connectivity between people, there are less meaningful relationships among the members of the society. Modern technologies such as internet and telephone has made us to be able to contact our friends or relatives in tremendously easier and sooner ways compared to telegraph or mail or other traditional ways. However, this doesn’t mean that we have became more social than the past. The ability to preserve or make numerous friendships is stopping us from having deep and highly personal relationships. There is also the problem of poor classes and societies. Most of new technologies are used in developed countries. It takes years or even centuries for these countries to be able to adopt these new technologies. For example, compare the percentage of people in African countries using social medias to the counterparts in North America. In conclusion, there is a long way until we can say that all the people on the erath have the same ability to use technologies, and it’s nonsense to talk about socialization before that. However, even after that ideal situation, there is the problem of modernity and it’s issues which makes us doubtful to say that we are more social than the past. ** Mohammad Hossein Ghotbi ** Academic IELTS**
There are tens of new means of communication based on recent technological innovations that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us able to be more
socially
active.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
like internet has resulted in easier telecommunication, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we have more socialized society. Others, which I’m in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of them, say that modernity has caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be more lonely, and
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
more connectivity between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, there are less meaningful relationships among the members of the society.

Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
such as internet and telephone has made us to be able to contact our friends or relatives in
tremendously
easier and sooner ways compared to telegraph or mail or other traditional ways.
However
, this doesn’t mean that we have became more social than the past. The ability to preserve or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
numerous friendships is stopping us from having deep and
highly
personal relationships.

There is
also
the problem of poor classes and societies. Most of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
. It takes years or even centuries for these countries to be able to adopt these new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
For example
, compare the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in African countries using social medias to the counterparts in North America.

In conclusion
, there is a long way until we can say that all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
erath
have the same ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, and it’s nonsense to talk about socialization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that.
However
, even after that ideal situation, there is the problem of modernity and it’s issues which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us doubtful to say that we are more social than the past.

** Mohammad Hossein
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ghotbi
** Academic IELTS**
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IELTS essay There are tens of new means of communication based on recent technological innovations that make us able to be more socially active.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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