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International travel has many advantages to both travelers and the country that they visited. Do Advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

International travel has many advantages to both travelers and the country that they visited. Do Advantages outweigh the disadvantages? n0An
It is indeed that at present the frequency of international travel have increased more than before. People travel to foreign country for many reasons. However, there are some advantage and disadvantage of such event. This essay will discuss the both side. On the one hand, in this age of advanced technology, it is very easy for one to visit a foreign state and it has some merits too. Firstly, people tend to trip international countries for some reason such as business issue, educational issue. Secondly, persons want to visit other states where they find better things for instance satisfying health care, excellent academic education and affordable products for business purpose. Secondly, a growth in international travel means mutual bonding between different countries, as a result, whenever a territory face any natural or man made for instance during an earthquake other states immediately send medical aid and other supplemental. This ensures a peaceful relationship among all countries. Finally, international travel has contributed significantly to globalization which has converted all the countries into global villages and intercommunication is now on a high growth. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages of international travel too. Firstly, as people can immigrate simply to another country, criminals and terrorist can hide to these places. Secondly, rapid movement to other states may cause disease transmission in double speed such as current pandemic of COVID-19 which has spread all over the world. Finally, a large number of people go to abroad only to purchase usual commodities while those can be found in local market. Consequently, local markets will face economic crisis. In conclusion, International travel has both merits and demerits. We should visit international borders while keeping in mind with its disadvantages too.
It is
indeed
that at present the frequency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
have increased more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantage and disadvantage of such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. This essay will discuss the both side.

On the one hand, in this age of advanced technology, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy for one to visit a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
and it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits too.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to trip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason such as business issue, educational issue.
Secondly
, persons want to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
where they find better things
for instance
satisfying health care, excellent academic education and affordable products for business purpose.
Secondly
, a growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
means mutual bonding between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
as a result
, whenever a territory face any natural or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
made
for instance
during an earthquake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
immediately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
medical aid and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
supplemental. This ensures a peaceful relationship among all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
has contributed
significantly
to globalization which has converted all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
into global villages and intercommunication is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
on a high growth.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
too.
Firstly
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can immigrate
simply
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, criminals and terrorist can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
to these places.
Secondly
, rapid movement to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
may cause disease transmission in double speed such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
pandemic of COVID-19 which has spread all over the world.
Finally
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
There isn't usually a preposition before "abroad". Did you mean "go abroad"?
go to abroad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
usual commodities while those can
be found
in local market.
Consequently
, local markets will face economic crisis.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
has both merits and demerits. We should visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
borders while keeping in mind with its disadvantages too.
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IELTS essay International travel has many advantages to both travelers and the country that they visited. Do Advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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