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Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of the news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of the news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? WwXD
Nowdays because of social media the distance has been of decreased between two people. Most of all people are using Social applications to connect with their friends or family. By using it they can be aware of outside the world. Thus, discuss then adventures, will More and more teenagers and adults are using social media sites to connect with other people. For examples, when students go abroad for further studies they can use applications like face time or skype to talk with their loved ones via video chat. It is also useful and easy to contact with people which are lives in different Country. It is very easy and convenient to use like "just pick up your smartphone open any social network app and chat with anyone you want". These days everyone use social media to contact others. Social media platform also can be useful to spread awareness. About 20 years ago, at that time there was no such use of social media website to spread news. For instance, in 2020 corona virus spread in all over the world people were using social app to share health related tips and important message about avoid body contact with other people. So, in that time this social media really helped people to stay connected with other people. To conclude the essay, there are too many advantages of using social network. It has been proven in this essay by giving examples.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowdays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
the distance has been of decreased between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Most of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
applications to connect with their friends or family. By using it they can be aware of outside the world.
Thus
, discuss then adventures, will

More and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and adults are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
sites to connect with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For examples, when students go abroad for
further
studies they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
applications like face time or skype to talk with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones via video chat. It is
also
useful and easy to contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Country. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy and convenient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
like
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
pick up your smartphone open any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network app and chat with anyone you want
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. These days everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "uses", "used".
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to contact others.

Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platform
also
can be useful to spread awareness. About 20 years ago, at that time there was no such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
website to spread news.
For instance
, in 2020
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
spread in all over the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
app to share health related tips and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
message about avoid body contact with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in that time this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay connected with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
the essay, there are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network. It has
been proven
in this essay by giving examples.
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IELTS essay Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of the news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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