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There are some countries where more and more people are becoming overweight, so their levels of health and fitness or being threatened. This essay will examine the main causes of obesity and its consequences and possible solutions to this problem.

There are some countries where more and more people are becoming overweight, so their levels of health and fitness or being threatened. This essay will examine the main causes of obesity and its consequences and possible solutions to this problem. xm9Bb
There are some countries where more and more people are becoming overweight, so their levels of health and fitness or being threatened. This essay will examine the main causes of obesity and its consequences and possible solutions to this problem. the two main causes of increasing people’s weight are having a sedentary lifestyle and eating fast food. due to technological advances and alterations in people's ways of living, most people no longer have a physically demanding job and they tend to sit behind their desks and work on computers despite some serious illnesses they may be faced with such as high blood pressure or even a heart attack. Also, more people tend to eat processed food since they cannot find the free time to cook nourishing meals. for example, I might as well eat out three times a week because I have a very busy schedule. in other words, people are gaining more weight due to their sedentary lifestyle and eating habits. some possible solutions to this problem are exercising more and changing eating habits. even if people are busy, they still have a chance to commute to work by riding a bicycle or even taking a walk. by doing so, they can burn some calories daily. Moreover, the next step is following a healthy diet full of vegetables and fruits. this way, individuals can decrease any risks of having illnesses because of unhealthy eating. to conclude, in countries where obesity of their people is their main concern, people’s harmful lifestyle and eating habits make them obese. However, they have ample opportunities to help themselves by having a new and healthy diet and working out regularly.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries where more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming overweight,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their levels of health and fitness or
being threatened
. This essay will examine the main causes of obesity and its consequences and possible solutions to this problem.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
two main causes of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
weight are having a sedentary lifestyle and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
due
to technological advances and alterations in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's ways of living, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
no longer have a
physically
demanding
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
job and
they tend to sit behind their desks and work on computers despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious illnesses they may
be faced
with such as high blood pressure or even a heart attack.
Also
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to eat processed food since they cannot find the free time to cook nourishing meals.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, I might
as well
eat out three times a week
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy schedule.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
other words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are gaining more weight due to their sedentary lifestyle and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habits.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
possible solutions to this problem are exercising more and changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habits.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
even
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy, they
still
have a chance to commute to work by riding a bicycle or even taking a walk.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
by
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they can burn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
calories daily.
Moreover
, the
next
step is following a healthy diet full of vegetables and fruits.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
way, individuals can decrease any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of having illnesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of unhealthy eating.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
conclude, in countries where obesity of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
their main concern,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
harmful lifestyle and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them obese.
However
, they have ample opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
themselves by having a new and healthy diet and working out
regularly
.
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IELTS essay There are some countries where more and more people are becoming overweight, so their levels of health and fitness or being threatened. This essay will examine the main causes of obesity and its consequences and possible solutions to this problem.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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