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There are several languages in the world that are given huge attention by people of a diverse range of ethnicities.

There are several languages in the world that are given huge attention by people of a diverse range of ethnicities. 729X
There are several languages in the world that are given huge attention by people of a diverse range of ethnicities. Those include English, Spanish, and Chinese. Given that adults often come to the point of desiring to become successful, which implies knowing different languages, children and teenagers are as well affected by them. To begin with, learning a foreign language increases the chances for better brain development, which can more likely result in a successful life. Foreign languages are better learned during the primary school years, as scientists have proven. Before the neural pathways are completely formed, it is greater to learn languages to not struggle in the future. Moreover, most of the recent practical resources are written in English or other global languages. For using them it is highly recommended that a person also knows the language it is written in. In addition, in secondary school students start learning sciences, which will eventually lead to information interference between new languages and other subjects. Completing the learning of language’s basics in primary school or kindergarten and continuing the practice of it in secondary and higher education is strategically more convenient for students, teachers, and parents. On the other hand, there is a consequence of intensive learning of language in children’s early stages of life. For example, they might feel pressure from teachers as well as parents. The stress of not being able to learn something because of another developed part of the brain can damage a child’s psyche. In consequence, parents should have awareness of a child’s wants and needs not only in their physical state but also mentally. In summary, it is conceivable to let parents teach their offsprings as early as possible. However, it should be held soft and with the child’s desire. To make that work it is necessary to make a play out of learning and motivate them with different techniques.
There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
in the world that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
huge attention by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of a diverse range of ethnicities. Those include English, Spanish, and Chinese.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the point of desiring to become successful, which implies knowing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
as well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by them.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
increases the chances for better brain development, which can more likely result in a successful life. Foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are better learned during the primary school years, as scientists have proven.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
the neural pathways are completely formed, it is greater to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
to not struggle in the future.
Moreover
, most of the recent practical resources
are written
in English or other global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. For using them it is
highly
recommended that a person
also
knows the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
it
is written
in.
In addition
, in secondary school students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
sciences, which will
eventually
lead to information interference between new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and other subjects. Completing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language’s
basics in primary school or kindergarten and continuing the practice of it in secondary and higher education is
strategically
more convenient for students, teachers, and parents.

On the other hand
, there is a consequence of intensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in children’s early stages of life.
For example
, they might feel pressure from teachers
as well
as parents. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of not being able to learn something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of another developed part of the brain can damage a child’s psyche. In consequence, parents should have awareness of a child’s wants and needs not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in their physical state
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
mentally.

In summary, it is conceivable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
parents teach their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
as early as possible.
However
, it should
be held
soft and with the child’s desire. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
that work it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a play out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and motivate them with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
techniques.
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IELTS essay There are several languages in the world that are given huge attention by people of a diverse range of ethnicities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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