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There are many improvements in the technology every year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of technology?

There are many improvements in the technology every year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of technology? qVaaP
In modern era, technology has been become important part of human beings life. With the aid of technology people's life became more easy as well as more comfortable than the past. Nowadays, technology developed, so it create more benefits than drawbacks. Technology can not only improve the lifestyle of humans but also improve frequency to complete a work, with the help of new machines. This has been true for transport system which gain less time. Moreover, Internet and mobile phone technologies have revolutionised working life, because it can connect workers in different countries via video confrencing and online networks to do work people more freedom. In other hand, technology get some bad impacts on environmental, like new technology developing in factories are spread more pollution in environment, that's the reason more people suffer from bad situations. Also, technologies creates new gadgets for children's. Children's are spend most time on playing games on computer and phones, so they can not concentrate on their studies. Solutions is difficult but not impossible, if government should keep those technologies in future, which are not harmful for humans and other. also, create those technologies which are more beneficial for others. To conclude, technologies arean inseparable part of human civilization. Collect benefits from technologyto create an ideal society.
In modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
been become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "beings'" or "being's"?
beings
life. With the aid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life became more easy
as well
as more comfortable than the past. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
developed,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
Did you mean "creates"?
create
more benefits than drawbacks.
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Technology
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the lifestyle of
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humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
frequency to complete a work, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of new machines. This has been true for transport system which gain less time.
Moreover
, Internet and mobile phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
have
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
working life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can connect workers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries via video
Possible spelling mistake found.
confrencing
and online networks to do work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more freedom. In other hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impacts on environmental, like new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
developing in factories
are spread
more pollution in environment, that's the reason more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffer from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situations.
Also
,
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technologies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creates
new gadgets for children's. Children's are
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
most time on playing games on computer and phones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can not concentrate on their studies. Solutions
You should probably use: "are" or "were".
is
difficult
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not impossible, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
, which are not harmful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and other.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
which are more beneficial for others.
To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
Possible spelling mistake found.
arean
inseparable part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
civilization. Collect benefits from
Possible spelling mistake found.
technologyto
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
an ideal society.
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IELTS essay There are many improvements in the technology every year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of technology?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
212 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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