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Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Wyqqk
It's no doubt that the science of food is an important subject to students, it can teach students about the nutrition of different foods, how packaged foods on the market are made, and even the concept of food hygiene. These knowledge can let students understand more about food, and by learning this subject, they will care more about food safety, cause less food poisoning accident happen. However, other subjects are also important, subjects such as language, biology, chemistry, physics, economics, etc. These subjects can also let students to learn more about related knowledge and understand the world comprehensively. For instants, by learning multiple languages, students can now not only talk to people who speak English, they can also talk to people who speak other languages. For my opinion, I suggest students should put more time on studying important subjects, not only focusing on one subject. Although for sure the science of food is really important to students, they should spend their school time equally on each subject, as other subjects are important too. It doesn't mean that students should not spend any time on studying the science of food. It's still an useful subject for them. It means students should spend extra time on it, and spending average amount of time on it is enough, just like other subjects. Moreover, students will choose their major study in the university. From my knowledge, students can choose the science of food as their major study, which means, they can fully focusing on this subject during their university study if they want to. And they don't need to spend extra more time on learning this subject before their university period.
It's no doubt that the
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science
of
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food
is an
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important
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subject
to
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students
, it can teach
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students
about the nutrition of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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foods
, how packaged
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foods
on the market
are made
, and even the concept of
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food
hygiene.
Did you mean "this knowledge" or "These knowledges"?
These knowledge
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
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students
understand more about
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food
, and by learning this
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subject
, they will care more about
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food
safety, cause less
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food
poisoning accident happen.

However
,
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other
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subjects
are
also
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important
,
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subjects
such as language, biology, chemistry, physics, economics, etc. These
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subjects
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
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students
to learn more about related knowledge and understand the world
comprehensively
. For instants, by learning multiple languages,
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students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
talk to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who speak English, they can
also
talk to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who speak
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other
languages.

For my opinion, I suggest
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students
should put more
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time
on studying
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important
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subjects
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focusing on one
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subject
. Although for sure the
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science
of
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food
is
really
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important
to
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students
, they should
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spend
their school
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time
equally
on each
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subject
, as
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other
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subjects
are
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important
too. It doesn't mean that
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students
should not
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spend
any
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time
on studying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. It's
still
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
useful
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subject
for them.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
It
means
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students
should
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spend
extra
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time
on it, and spending average amount of
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time
on it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
,
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just
like
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other
subjects.

Moreover
,
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students
will choose their major study in the university. From my knowledge,
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students
can choose the
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science
of
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food
as their major study, which means, they can
fully
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "focus"
focusing
on this
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subject
during their university study if they want to. And they don't need to
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spend
extra more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on learning this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their university period.
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IELTS essay Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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