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There are many extinct animals’ species in the world. Some people think we should protect animals from dying out, while others believe we should spend more time on problems of human beings. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many species in some parts of the world have completely disappeared. While some people believe that humans have to protect animals diversity, others advocate we should focus more on humans’ problems. Both viewpoints are justifiable, but I personally lean towards the former. On the one hand, there are indeed some pressing issues related to human beings such as wars, diseases and disasters. Every year, governments around the world pour a lot of time and money to address these problems and create a better world. These efforts have enormously reduced problems that can be dangerous for us, however, many problems are still existing and require further research and studies. For instance, the Coronavirus Pandemic has detrimentally affected the lives of billions of people around the world and has killed more than 2 million lives for just over one year. On the other hand, humans are co-existing on Earth with various plants and animals. Therefore, it is our responsibility to protect endangered species from extinction. Moreover, many animals play a critical role in the existence of the Earth. To illustrate, a recent study by Toronto University found that the extinction of a type of rat in South Africa has limited the food chain of the ‘Brown Snakes’. Consequently, the population of these snakes are falling rapidly. In conclusion, although there are many problems that humans have to deal with ourselves, I believe we can not neglect animal preservation because without some specific animals, life on Earth will be affected and can be potentially linked to humans’ lives in the near future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
species in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
have completely disappeared. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
diversity, others advocate we should focus more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Both viewpoints are justifiable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
personally
lean towards the former.

On the one hand, there are
indeed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pressing issues related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings such as wars, diseases and disasters. Every year,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
pour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and money to address these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and create a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. These efforts have
enormously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for us,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are
still
existing and require
further
research and studies.
For instance
, the Coronavirus Pandemic has
detrimentally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of billions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and has killed more than 2 million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over one year.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are co-existing on Earth with various plants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Therefore
, it is our responsibility to protect endangered species from extinction.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
play a critical role in the existence of the Earth. To illustrate, a recent study by Toronto University found that the extinction of a type of rat in South Africa has limited the food chain of the ‘Brown Snakes’.
Consequently
, the population of these snakes are falling
rapidly
.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with ourselves, I believe we can not neglect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
preservation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, life on Earth will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
and can be
potentially
linked to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the near future.
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IELTS essay There are many extinct animals’ species in the world. Some people think we should protect animals from dying out, while others believe we should spend more time on problems of human beings.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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