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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays? GEPm
There has been an increasing number of new types of music in the recent decades and almost every country has its own traditional music. This essay will illustrate the necessity of music in life after that it will provide reasons for the importance of traditional music. Music has a deep effect on mentality and can help people in many ways. Listening to music can easily change the mood and atmosphere. To illustrate, there are many DJs in the world who can reverse the temperature of a party in the blink of an eye with the power of music. Furthermore, music is an excellent material for forgetting the time. There are some times in life which you need something to feel free from everything for a moment, in this case, music is the best option. If you put your headphone on and play music with a high volume, you will forget about everything like time, yourself, and your problems for a moment. In my opinion, traditional music ought to be respected over international music. Modern songs have become so popular owing to their fun and energetic melodies, which appeal to young people in particular, but they are just a commercial product that is advertised and sold for business purposes. In contrast, traditional music is vital for every country due to the fact that it transmits culture. For example, in Iranian traditional music, also known as Persian classical music, the poems of Iranian elite poets are mostly used. In conclusion, it is correct to say that music is essential in our lives, and I believe that it will become even more valuable if we love and listen to our country's traditional songs more.
There has been an increasing number of new types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in the recent decades and almost every country has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. This essay will illustrate the necessity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in life after that it will provide reasons for the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
music.

Music has a deep effect on mentality and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. Listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the mood and atmosphere. To illustrate, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
DJs in the world who can reverse the temperature of a party in the blink of an eye with the power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an excellent material for forgetting the time. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times in life which you need something to feel free from everything for a moment,
in this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is the best option. If you put your headphone on and play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
with a high volume, you will forget about everything like time, yourself, and your problems for a moment.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
ought to
be respected
over international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. Modern songs have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
popular owing to their fun and energetic melodies, which appeal to young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in particular
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a commercial product that
is advertised
and sold for business purposes.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is vital for every country due to the fact that it transmits culture.
For example
, in Iranian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
also
known as Persian classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, the poems of Iranian elite poets are
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

In conclusion
, it is correct to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is essential in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and I believe that it will become even more valuable if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and listen to our country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
songs more.
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IELTS essay There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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