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there are increasing crimes against kids and teenagers

there are increasing crimes against kids and teenagers Nln0q
In many areas of the world, there are increasing crimes against kids and teenagers. Various reasons led to this problem, and the government should provide suitable solutions to tackle the issue effectively. There are some main reasons which can likely cause a rise rate crime in youth. First and foremost, the children frequently watch violent movies on television and play violent games. So, they have a tendency to follow what is witnessed in the films. According to recordings in Vietnam, in recent years, the number of kids attending to some fighting has increased considerably. The second reason is a lack of concern by the adults, in particular, their parents. In morden society, the parents often bury on a work, they do not spend much time on the children. As a result, they can not monitor continuously or manage edequately some activites of their kids. So, they cannot detect mistakes which are caused by teenagers to adjust or educate them. It is necessary for the authorities to implement suitable solutions in order to reduce the commit of undertage. It depends on their crime level. The law has different punishing ways. Firstly, if this is not danger. They need to be sent to the education center, which has some particular curriculums. For example, in Vietnam, if crimes are committed by people who are under 18, they will pick up education center where the official police are teachers. Secondly, if this is crime of danger such as murder, drugs, they should give the prison until enough age to apply punish like the adult. In conclusion, the phenomenon of teenager crime has a tendency to rise in nations. Some reasons caused the issue and the government has suitable punishable to limit this situation
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas of the world, there are increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
against kids and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. Various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
led to this problem, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide suitable solutions to tackle the issue
effectively
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
which can likely cause a rise rate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in youth.
First
and foremost, the children
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
violent movies on television and play violent games.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they have a tendency to follow what
is witnessed
in the films. According to recordings in Vietnam, in recent years, the number of kids attending to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fighting has increased
considerably
. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is a lack of concern by the adults,
in particular
, their parents. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
morden
society, the parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
bury on a work, they do not spend much time on the children.
As a result
, they can not monitor
continuously
or manage
Possible spelling mistake found.
edequately
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
of their kids.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they cannot detect mistakes which
are caused
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to adjust or educate them.

It is necessary for the authorities to implement suitable solutions in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the commit of
Possible spelling mistake found.
undertage
. It depends on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
level. The law has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
punishing ways.
Firstly
, if this is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
. They need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the education center, which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular curriculums.
For example
, in Vietnam, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are committed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are under 18, they will pick up education center where the official police are teachers.
Secondly
, if this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
such as murder, drugs, they should give the prison until
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
age to
Probably a preposition is missing after 'apply'.
apply punish
like the adult.

In conclusion
, the phenomenon of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has a tendency to rise in nations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
caused the issue and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has suitable punishable to limit this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
situation
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IELTS essay there are increasing crimes against kids and teenagers

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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