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Elderly and young age people both play a vital role in society.

Elderly and young age people both play a vital role in society. lL1Yw
Elderly and young age people both play a vital role in society. Although some countries value the youth more, others value old age people. This essay will search through advantage points and will explore my options in turn. The countries which value the elderly people support their thoughts for several reasons. First, the elderly people have vast experience and a lot of range of experience. To explain in detail, old people have an extended history as their own perspective. For example, they are able to help with younger mentors and guidance for the community. Furthermore, the key is the elderly’s health care which contributes to society. On the other hand, young people have a lot of potential to be stronger in the workforce and future. However, the young are key adopters of technology that they want to be millennials which means they can work everywhere and are likely independent workers. They are preferring to be flexible than regular work 5 days for eight hours a day. Additionally, they had access to higher education that was clever and creative with their energy because Elderly people expected younger people to, they were able to get more information easier than old people who lived on stage. In conclusion, both are needed to develop a country, but old people contribute to the development and young people's role is in hope and innovation a part of the culture in the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Elderly
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
both play a vital role in society. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries value the youth more, others value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This essay will search through advantage points and will explore my options in turn.

The countries which value the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support their thoughts for several reasons.
First
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have vast experience and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
range of experience. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in detail,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have an extended history as their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective.
For example
, they are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with younger mentors and guidance for the community.

Furthermore
, the key is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly’s
health care which contributes to society.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
potential to be stronger in the workforce and future.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
are key adopters of technology that they want to be millennials which means they can work everywhere and are likely independent workers. They
The verb 'preferring' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are preferring
to be
Use "(flexible)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
flexible
than regular work 5 days for eight hours a day.
Additionally
, they had access to higher education that was clever and creative with their energy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to, they were able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more information easier than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
on stage.

In conclusion
, both
are needed
to develop a country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contribute to the development and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's role is in hope and innovation a part of the culture in the future.
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IELTS essay Elderly and young age people both play a vital role in society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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